Dandan ate a piece. When Old Madam Qin asked if he still missed Daddy, Dandan sniffled and said, "Yeah, Dandan misses Daddy."
He ate a second piece. Old Madam Qin asked again. He said he missed his daddy a little. Once full, he said he wouldn't miss him today—he'd wait until tomorrow when he had time. And he wasn't scared anymore either, running around and playing.
Old Madam Qin secretly let out a sigh of relief.
Guaizai finished the pastries, then climbed onto the bed and lay on Old General Qin's lap, asking him, "Grandpa, are you going to the front lines to fight?"
Old General Qin patted his little bottom: "That's right! After Grandpa finishes off the bad guys, he'll come back and play with Guaizai, okay?"
Guaizai looked at his chest, where the bandages were still wrapped: "But Grandpa, are your wounds healed yet?"
"It's nothing serious." They were far from healed. If he really went out there now to face that old bastard Jiang Zhanying, he'd probably last less than two rounds before going down below to reunite with his ancestors. But he could still command, couldn't he? It wasn't like his mouth was wounded.
Gungun and Dandan came over: "Brother, what's fighting?"
"It's just a fight," Guaizai said.
"Oh." Gungun said, "So it's a fight! But Daddy said—fighting is bad! Lose and you go to the medical hall, win and you go to jail. Grandpa, why are you so old and still don't understand? You're a bag of old bones, and you still want to fight people? One punch from them and you'll probably go straight to your funeral banquet. That's no good, very no good." His little face was very serious: "Grandpa can't fight, otherwise someone like you would end up in the old folks' labor camp."
"That's not right." Guaizai poked his face: "The other side are bad guys."
"Oh, so that's how it is!" Gungun nodded, understanding: "Then the bad guys deserve a beating. Grandpa, can you beat them? If you can't, I'll call Father here."
Before Old General Qin could say anything, Dandan furrowed his brow and said with certainty: "Grandpa definitely can't win. If he could, why would Grandpa be lying in bed all stabbed?"
Old General Qin: "······"
That actually made some sense. He was speechless.
Old Madam Qin and Uncle Tang watched from the side as the three children chattered on, leaving Old General Qin green in the face, and couldn't help finding it amusing.
"Brother, let's go write a letter to Father and tell him to come beat up the bad guys and make them howl."
Old General Qin saw Dandan about to slide off the bed and grabbed him, trying hard to save face: "Your great-grandpa is also very formidable. Your father probably isn't even as formidable as great-grandpa."
Guaizai burst out laughing at this, clucking like a hen about to lay an egg: "Grandpa, you're such a braggart. Guaizai's father is the number one undefeated in the whole world. If that old Lu fellow had fought Father back then, he'd probably be up on the mountain by now (in his grave), and yet you nearly ended up laid out on a board yourself.
Old General Qin: "······That's because he ambushed me."
Guaizai: "Grandpa, making excuses isn't good!"
Old General Qin: "······"
Qin Hengxuan and Meng Ruqing were handling official business when Guaizai came running in, panting. Like a mouse darting into a hole, he slipped under Meng Ruqing's desk.
Meng Ruqing quickly put down his brush and bent down: "What's wrong?"
"Shh." Guaizai said nervously: "Pretty Uncle, don't talk. Grandpa's going to hit Guaizai."
Meng Ruqing: "······"
No need to ask—the kid must have mouthed off again. These past few days, he'd often provoke Old General Qin and get chased all over the military camp. Sure enough, before long, Old General Qin came in, supported by Qin Yi, wielding a small wooden stick. He looked around and didn't see anyone in the tent: "Where's that little brat?"
Meng Ruqing and Qin Hengxuan shook their heads: "Don't know. Dad, you're not fully recovered yet—don't get angry."
"It's all that little rabbit's fault," Old General Qin said hatefully.
Qin Hengxuan went to support him, asking with a smile: "What did he do this time?"
Old General Qin: "What did he do?"
What did he do…
"Grandpa, making excuses isn't good!"
"That's not an excuse, it's the truth."
"But even if it was an ambush, Father wouldn't be afraid, because he has eyes in the back of his head."
"Ah! How does your father have eyes on his back?"
"His fart eye! Old Grandpa, why are you asking that? Do you not have a fart eye?"
[Fart eye (屁眼) vulgar slang for butthole.]
Qin Hengxuan burst out laughing at this, and even Meng Ruqing couldn't hold it in.
Old General Qin's face darkened: "Still laughing. If either of you sees that little brat, drag him to my tent. That kid runs so fast—gone in the blink of an eye."
After they left, Guaizai poked half his head out from under the desk and asked very quietly: "Pretty Uncle, is Grandpa gone?"
Meng Ruqing picked him up and brushed the dust off his clothes: "He's gone."
"Grandpa's angry." Guaizai made a bitter face and said very seriously: "Probably his secret that he's been hiding for years was guessed by Guaizai, so Grandpa got embarrassed and angry. Yes, that must be it."
Meng Ruqing laughed again.
Old General Qin's gloomy voice suddenly rang out: "I knew you were here."
Guaizai: "······"
Guaizai hadn't expected Old General Qin to come back. Seeing Old General Qin walking toward him, his little bottom clenched as he walked toward Old General Qin: "Um, Grandpa, who are you looking for?"
Old General Qin looked at him coldly, watching him play dumb: "I'm looking for Guaizai. A little brat."
"Oh, looking for Guaizai! I just saw him run that way." Guaizai's little feet slowly, imperceptibly edged toward the door: "Grandpa, don't look at me like that. You've got the wrong person. I'm just a little boy who looks a bit like Guaizai. I'm not Guaizai!"
Qin Hengxuan couldn't control himself and doubled over laughing again.
Old General Qin grabbed him by the back collar and lifted him like a chick: "I don't believe you."
Guaizai got a spanking.
He felt very wronged. He hadn't done anything bad—just said a couple of things. He hadn't even cursed at anyone. Why did he get hit?
Sigh, he really didn't understand.
But whatever—it didn't hurt at all anyway.
Old General Qin pulled down his pants and laid him across his knees. Guaizai's bowl-sized bottom got smacked with loud pops, but he was completely unfazed—in fact, the more he was spanked, the itchier his bottom felt. He even reached back to scratch. Old General Qin burst out laughing.
Old General Qin doted on him—he loved everything about the boy. But this child's mouth was just too good at infuriating people. No matter how much he doted on him, he couldn't help wanting to spank him.
After being disciplined, Guaizai wrote another letter to Fang Zichen and Zhao Ger, saying he probably wouldn't be back for a while. Grandpa Qin had been badly hurt by someone called Lao Lu, and his wounds still hadn't healed, so Guaizai was going to stay to protect him and get revenge for him. Grandpa was no match for Lao Lu. The only plan now was for Guaizai to take the field himself — probably only he could beat Lao Lu now.
Father, Daddy, Guaizai misses you. You must miss Guaizai too!
Little brothers are fine — eating well and sleeping soundly, don't worry.
Guaizai is off to fight the bad guys and be a big hero. Father, can you mail your underwear to Guaizai? Guaizai wants to wear it. Super invincible!
The imperial guards answered to Fang Zichen. Their primary duty was to protect the three little masters, so they naturally wouldn't leave. The letter had to be delivered by the Qin soldier.
Guaizai solemnly handed the letter to a soldier: "You have to deliver it to Father personally, okay? Do you know Guaizai's father?"
Before the soldier could speak, Guaizai added, "Guaizai's Father looks a lot like Pretty Uncle. He's the second most handsome man in the world — very easy to recognize. If you can't find Father, you can give it to Guaizai's Daddy too. Daddy has two big eyes. Don't deliver it to the wrong person."
The soldier promised: "Young Master, rest assured. There's no way I'll get it wrong."
Guaizai was relieved: "Uncle, Guaizai believes in you."
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