Fang Zichen held Zhao Ger and kissed his round cheeks twice, saying softly: "Your face seems a bit plumper. It's like kissing jelly."
Zhao Ger touched his own face: "Really?"
"Mm!" Fang Zichen pinched his cheek, held him with one arm, gently bit his ear, then laughed softly: "Have you been secretly eating instant noodles again?"
"No." Zhao Ger's heart was racing. The warm, moist sensation was like electricity, making him shiver involuntarily. Even his small nose was slightly sweaty.
Zhao Ger struggled a little, but without much effort. He said quietly: "Stop messing around. I'm busy at home!" At this point he got annoyed again and wanted to smack his son: "On the sixth day you and Guaizai went to Anxi County, Gungun and Dandan disappeared. Husband, you'd better give them a good scolding."
"Huh?" Fang Zichen said: "How did they disappear?"
Zhao Ger said: "They made a fuss about going to find you."
That night Fang Zichen left in a hurry—the villagers didn't even know. In the past, news from Anxi County would've taken ages to spread, but now the cement roads were connected, and with Luoshan Village selling chemical fertilizer everywhere, news traveled fast.
Something happened in Anxi County—the prefect and his son had gone to help with disaster relief.
Gungun and Dandan had sharp ears. They'd gotten up and couldn't find Fang Zichen and Guaizai, so the two little ones searched the whole courtyard. One moment they'd lift a small stone: "Bwother, are you here?" The next they'd shout into the outhouse: "Father, are you down there?" Then they'd climb on a little stool to lift the pot lid: "Bwother?"
They searched high and low but couldn't find anyone. Gungun and Dandan asked Zhao Ger where their father and brother had gone—they couldn't find them anywhere. When Zhao Ger told them, they threw a fit, clamoring to go find their father and brother. Later, when they learned Fang Zichen had gone to Anxi County, they stopped fussing. But on the sixth day, Uncle Tang killed a chicken and stewed it in the pot, then went to the field to get some cilantro for dipping sauce. When he came back—the chicken in the pot was gone. Only a pot of broth remained.
Gungun and Dandan were gone too.
At first Uncle Tang didn't think much of it. Once the two little ones got familiar with the village kids and started playing with Guaizai, the house couldn't hold them anymore. They'd often run wild all over the hills, knowing where every mouse hole was. The village was safe, and with so much going on, the imperial guards had stopped keeping watch outside the house.
Uncle Tang just wondered where the chicken went. But when Zhao Ger came back from the factory in the evening and it was time to eat, the two little ones still hadn't returned. Zhao Ger banged the gong for ages but saw no sign of the two children. He knew something was wrong.
He and Uncle Tang ran all over the village searching. The villagers said they hadn't seen them—Gungun and Dandan hadn't come out to play today.
"What's wrong? Are the two young masters missing?"
"Yeah!"
"How did that happen! How could they just vanish like that?"
Village children were raised rough—by two or three they were already running all over the village. This had never happened before. Seeing Zhao Ger and Uncle Tang so panicked their faces went pale, everyone quickly comforted them, saying maybe they'd been playing somewhere at noon and fell asleep. It'd be fine—they'd help look.
The imperial guards were mobilized too.
But they practically turned Anping Village upside down, and still no sign of the two children.
Zhao Ger looked like he'd just been pulled out of water—sweat poured down his face. He thought of Guaizai.
Gungun and Dandan were chubby—Fang Zichen always said they were like little piglets—but admittedly, both children had delicate, adorable features.
Could it be...
Zhao Ger was nearly frightened to death by the thought.
That evening, when the paper mill workers got off and came home to hear about it, one fulang said he thought he'd seen the two young masters around noon.
What did he mean, "thought"?
The imperial guards quickly questioned him. The fulang said: "I went to the vegetable plot at noon to pick vegetables and saw two little topknots passing by in the grass by the road."
Gungun and Dandan were bigger now, but like Guaizai, they were naturally short and round like balls. Walking on the road, they weren't even taller than the wild grass.
The fulang was squatting in the field and only caught a glimpse of two little topknots flashing by the edge of the grass. At first, the only kids in the village with those sky-high pigtails were the prefect's three young masters. But later, more kids started wearing their hair that way, so the fulang wasn't sure.
But when the imperial guards heard it, it was probably them.
Zhao Ger couldn't sit still. He searched along the cement road with them. Just before reaching the town, they saw Gungun and Dandan being brought back by a couple.
The couple looked familiar. Zhao Ger thought about it—oh, they were the bun sellers in town. His family had bought buns from their stall a few times when they visited town.
The couple recognized Gungun and Dandan too. Seeing them in town, looking around helplessly and scratching their heads like they didn't know where to go, with no sign of the prefect and his fulang, the couple quickly asked the children how they got there.
Gungun still remembered her, so he said: "We came to see Father and Bwother."
"The lord and the eldest young master went to Anxi County."
"Gungun knows! It's in the county! Father and Bwother went to help with disaster relief and can't come home, so Gungun and Dandan came to see them and bring them chicky!" He said "chicken" as "chicky." "Father and Bwother will definitely love Gungun!"
"And Dandan."
"Right."
The couple understood—the two young masters had confused Anxi County with Anping County, thinking the prefect had just gone to the county seat.
The two children missed their father and brother. Everyone knew which village Fang Zichen lived in—Pingxiang Village was several li from town! The two young masters had walked all the way there...
The couple felt a lump in their throats. They asked if the children were hungry.
Of course they were. Gungun and Dandan were starving, thirsty, and exhausted. The chicken in the basket—its rear end had been licked clean of a layer of skin by the two little ones, as if mice had gnawed at it.
The woman gave them two buns. Gungun and Dandan took them and said thank you, then wolfed them down.
One wasn't even enough to fill the gap between his teeth. When Dandan squeezed the bun, a layer of its skin stuck to his hand, and he carefully licked it clean.
Poor things!
The woman couldn't bear to watch. She gave them one more each. Once they were full, the couple brought them back.
Gungun was still carrying a basket, and inside it was unmistakably the chicken Uncle Tang had lost.
Zhao Ger didn't know what to say. He couldn't hit them, couldn't scold them. After thanking the couple, he led the two children home and lectured them all night.
When Fang Zichen heard about it, he was full of emotion. Hands on his hips, he said: "All that raising wasn't for nothing! Worthy of the sons I raised by tightening my belt. They're like me."
Zhao Ger: "..."
When the children were obedient, his husband said they were like him. When they caused trouble, his husband said they were like him too.
Seeing Zhao Ger glaring at him, Fang Zichen immediately changed his tune: "This really does need a good scolding, or next time they'll get lost. Where's your big needle for sewing shoe soles? Where'd you put it?"
Zhao Ger blinked: "What are you going to do?"
Fang Zichen put his hands on his hips: "I'm going to transform into Fang momo."
Fang Zichen went out with the needle, chasing the two children to poke them. Gungun and Dandan ran all over the courtyard, giggling, thinking it was a game, shrieking with joy.
When they were tired from playing, Fang Zichen held one in each arm: "I heard from your daddy that you snuck out last time? Is that right?"
Gungun was covered in sweat and nodded: "Yes yes."
Fang Zichen immediately smacked his bottom: "You're proud of that?"
Dandan rubbed his face against his father's: "Father, don't hit Bwother."
Fang Zichen kissed him and said seriously: "You can't run off like that again, understand?" His tone was serious. He didn't hold back when scaring the children, and his heart didn't ache one bit: "There are pig demons outside. Pig demons love to snatch chubby kids like you to be their sons. If you become a pig demon's son, there's no meat to eat."
No meat to eat?
That was simply too terrifying.
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