Chapter 82
The truth often sounds harsh—especially to those who have failed before they could even act.
Everyone standing in opposition to the Emperor knew that all the initiative now lay in his hands. They had nothing left—all they could do was wait.
At the Emperor's words, the hall fell utterly silent. The Empress Dowager's expression was strained and unreadably complicated. After a long pause, she looked at Lin En, walked over to him herself, and removed the mask from his face.
It was the first time Qi Junmu had seen Lin En's face. It looked very much like his own, but paler and more delicate from years of being kept from sunlight. Lin En touched his face with his hand, looking unaccustomed and somewhat ill at ease.
Then the Empress Dowager closed her eyes and said: "I understand everything you've said. But the heart does not obey reason. Before you took the throne, all my thoughts were on you. I was afraid that you and I, mother and son, would have no place in these deep palace. But once you became Emperor, all of Da Qi became yours. You treated Qi Junzhuo as a dear younger brother—and the more you did that, the more it pained me."
"Your true younger brother is right here. Qi Junzhuo was made a prince, but your own brother can only spend his life wearing a mask. I cannot hear him call me 'Mother.' To hear him call me 'Imperial Mother' even once, I could only arrange for him to marry Fuhua—that way, Fuhua could call your uncle and aunt 'Father' and 'Mother,' and Lin En could call me 'Imperial Mother.' Yet even this small wish has yet to come true."
"They are both my children—one is heaven's favored son, the Emperor of Da Qi; the other can only cower in the shadows, with no future, no beloved wife, facing everyone's contempt and disgust. And his mother can do nothing—cannot even tell the world that this is also her child."
As she spoke, the Empress Dowager's lips twitched, and tears spilled from her eyes. The formidable Empress Dowager, at this moment, looked terribly fragile and pitiable. Her eyes and expression showed that she was truly in agony.
These words had been bottled up inside her for a long time. Now, she let them all out.
"I want to make it up to him—but what can I give him? Because of that 'calamity upon his father' talk, by the time I sent him away, the power and status that should have been his were already destroyed. He cannot return to his place. This palace does not belong to him. The title of prince cannot fall to him. After I, the Empress Dowager, am gone, he will hold no official position, no rank, no power, no influence—nothing at all. And if someone discovers that his face is identical to that of the reigning Emperor, what awaits him then? Death? Or being used by others? Would Your Majesty tolerate his existence?"
"Whenever I think of all this, I cannot help but be stern with you, hoping to secure the best possible path for him." In the end, the Empress Dowager let out a deep sigh.
Qi Junmu lowered his eyes, his expression unreadable.
"The Empress Dowager says that Young Master Lin is indeed pitiable, and that she has a loving mother's heart," Shen Nian spoke up amid the silence. Standing beside the Emperor, he looked at the Empress Dowager, at the expressionless Lin En, at Lin Xiao and Yue shi. "But what about His Majesty? What did he do wrong? To him, his mother has only ever been the Empress Dowager—never someone close."
"If the Empress Dowager wishes to make amends to Young Master Lin, then do so—but why must you always rebuke His Majesty? Was it not dangerous to be a prince in the palace? You say Prince Jin should not hold his title—but if not for Prince Jin, then it would have been His Majesty who was framed back then. The palace is full of scheming hearts, and His Majesty has survived countless perils."
"In those days, with the late Emperor still reigning, the struggle for the throne was not yet overt—but for the princes, one wrong step meant falling off a cliff. If the late Emperor had not left an edict before his death, His Majesty would have had to fight Prince Rui and Prince Ping for the throne. Have you, Empress Dowager, ever given a single thought to the dangers that entailed?"
"You say Young Master Lin is pitiable, but I say His Majesty is the pitiable one. He has a father, a mother, and kin—yet who has ever truly focused their thoughts on him? Forgive my boldness, but you sent Young Master Lin away back then for the sake of status—your guilt is understandable. But His Majesty is innocent in all this. Why do you place all the blame upon him?"
By the end, Shen Nian hardly knew what he was saying—he only felt a deep ache in his heart, aching for Qi Junmu.
He thought, how much pain must Qi Junmu have endured, knowing all of this and bearing it in silence all along?
Thinking of this, Shen Nian felt a chill run down his spine, and his heart ached with a deep, bitter sorrow. He said: "Earlier, the Empress Dowager asked if His Majesty could tolerate Young Master Lin's existence. Have you ever considered when His Majesty learned of all this, and why he chose only today to expose it? Before this, has His Majesty ever done a single thing to harm Young Master Lin?"
Shen Nian fell silent after saying this. Qi Junmu slowly raised his eyes.
He looked at the Empress Dowager, his expression calm, his eyes betraying no particular emotion—or perhaps his emotions were buried so deep within that no one could read them.
The Empress Dowager glanced between Shen Nian and Qi Junmu, then spoke as calmly as she could: "What Your Majesty wishes to address today is the matter of Lin En. Everyone here, aside from Marquis Zhenbei, is family. This is not a matter to be discussed before outsiders. Your Majesty should ask Marquis Zhenbei to step out first."
"There's no need. He is not an outsider," Qi Junmu said flatly, rejecting her suggestion.
The Empress Dowager's brow furrowed deeply, finding the Emperor's words strange. How was Shen Nian not an outsider?
She wanted to say more, but the Emperor did not give her the chance.
Qi Junmu spoke softly: "I understand what you said just now, Imperial Mother. But there are still some things I do not understand, and I hope you and Uncle can clarify them for me. You say you feel guilty toward Lin En—then what does Lin En himself think?"
With that, he fixed his gaze directly on Lin En.
Lin En stood there with his head bowed and eyes lowered. Though their faces were nearly identical, Qi Junmu looked icy and aloof, while Lin En appeared gentle and delicate.
Lin En lifted his head slightly and said softly: "Naturally, I envy Your Majesty."
"I think you don't just envy me—you are jealous," Qi Junmu said calmly.
Lin En frowned slightly. "I don't understand what Your Majesty means by that."
Qi Junmu smiled faintly and spoke words that shook everyone to their core: "I think you are jealous of me—and even wish to take my place."
"Impossible!" The Empress Dowager was so stunned that her heart nearly stopped. Her eyes flew wide open.
Qi Junmu said: "Why is it impossible? What do you think, Uncle?"
Lin Xiao's expression was complicated. "So this is what Your Majesty thinks? Simply because we kept this from you?"
Qi Junmu looked at him, and for the first time, disappointment appeared in his eyes. "Uncle, at this point, are you still not going to tell me the truth?"
"Has Uncle been wondering why I came to suspect you?" Qi Junmu asked.
Lin Xiao did not answer—he had indeed been wondering.
Qi Junmu said: "First, there was the attitude of the Empress Dowager and Aunt. Every time Aunt came to the palace, she brought Lin En along. And when Fuhua was grieving, it was Aunt who went to comfort her. Don't you find this interesting?"
But the most crucial reason was not any of these—it was that he had died once before. He had constantly wondered: Wen Wan was already pregnant—what would become of the child in her womb after he died? If the man who had killed him and seized the throne chose to spare her, how could he ever accept that child? Even if the child was hers and his, in the eyes of the world it belonged to the late Emperor. How would the realm ever accept his Empress marrying the new Emperor?
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