Shen Nian suddenly looked up and realized that at some point, the Emperor had come to stand right in front of him—half a step away.
Qi Junmu looked at him earnestly and said, "You've made my heart very unsettled. I don't want you to be too far from me, but I also don't know exactly what I feel for you."
"Why is Your Majesty saying all this?" Shen Nian's lips trembled as he spoke.
"Because it isn't fair," Qi Junmu said in an unusually calm tone. "I am the Emperor. I am strong, and you are weak. No matter the outcome, you can only wait for me to speak and passively accept the conclusion. But I don't want to use this matter, in this manner, to hold you in suspense—to make you feel it's within reach, yet also impossibly far away."
"And so?" Shen Nian pressed his lips together. "What does Your Majesty mean by that?"
"So I will think it through," Qi Junmu said. "Give me a few days. I will consider it carefully, and then I will give you an answer."
He needed to think about whether he could truly honor Shen Nian's feelings. He had to consider everything—the imperial court, the rear palace, and all that lay between.
"Because you felt it was unfair to me, you chose to speak your mind even though your heart is in turmoil? Why not wait until you had reached a decision before saying anything?" Shen Nian asked softly.
Qi Junmu ignored Shen Nian's breach of courtly etiquette as if he hadn't heard it, and said, "I'm not the type to drag things out in matters of the heart. Once I've considered it, if I think it works, it works. If not, then not. I acted so out of character just now—if I didn't lay my cards on the table, you'd be left to your own thoughts. You might grow indifferent, or run away, or even turn bitter. This is between you and me. I don't think you should be the only one carrying all the weight of it."
"If there's something that can be said plainly, there's no need to hide it—because that's truly what's in my heart," Qi Junmu added at the end.
Hearing the Emperor speak so openly, Shen Nian felt as though his entire being was tightly gripped. He asked, "If Your Majesty reaches a decision that this humble subject does not wish to accept—what then?"
Whether the Emperor agreed to be with him or not—if he didn't want to accept either outcome. The question was somewhat overstepping; after all, it's often said that both thunder and rain are the Emperor's grace—one must accept whatever comes.
Yet Shen Nian asked anyway. Falling in love with the Emperor was already an act of great treason to begin with. A little more transgression hardly mattered now.
Qi Junmu frowned and thought for a moment. Then he said, "Then I will respect your choice."
Shen Nian smiled slightly and said, "With those words from Your Majesty, this humble subject is already content." Qi Junmu was the Emperor—emperors always considered their own wishes, rarely caring about others.
When he had asked that question, the Emperor had clearly been taken aback as well. But he had still said he would respect Shen Nian's choice. At this moment, at least in the Emperor's heart, their feelings stood on equal ground.
Falling for an emperor—it was all too easy to be plagued by doubts and fears.
Status, position, the rear palace, heirs—all of these were problems to be reckoned with. The main reason Shen Nian had never wanted the Emperor to discover his feelings was that the Emperor already had an Empress in the rear palace.
That was a hurdle he simply could not cross. True, an emperor could have anyone he desired in this world—but taking another man's husband was something Shen Nian could never bring himself to do.
Qi Junmu knew exactly what Shen Nian was thinking.
In fact, after detecting Shen Nian's feelings, he had already thought of all these things.
At that thought, Qi Junmu smiled and said softly, "To tell you the truth, I have long intended to name Prince Jin as the Imperial Younger Brother."
[Imperial Younger Brother (皇太弟, huáng tài dì): a formal title given to the emperor's younger brother when he is designated as the heir to the throne.]
His voice was so low that even Shen Nian only caught fragments—but they struck him like a thunderbolt, leaving him numb all over, his ears ringing.
Qi Junmu was telling the truth. In his previous life, he had sat on the throne for only three years before dying. He didn't know if an accident would befall him three years from now in this life. He guarded against all dangers, but one always had to make preparations.
He had thought it through: if something truly happened to him in three years, he would surely pass the throne to Qi Junzhuo. That was also why he had been steadily building up Qi Junzhuo's influence all along.
Qi Junmu had thought he would carry this intention to his grave without telling a soul—yet today, he had spoken it to Shen Nian. Naming someone as the Imperial Younger Brother meant intending to pass the throne to that person.
Shen Nian had never expected the Emperor to harbor such thoughts. He lowered his voice, wary of eavesdroppers, and said, "Your Majesty, why is this? If Prince Jin is named Imperial Younger Brother and Your Majesty later has a son of your own, what would become of Prince Jin then?"
Qi Junmu did not answer that question directly. Instead, he said, "My relationship with the Empress is not what you imagine. In the future, there will be no Empress, no consorts in this palace—so where would heirs come from?"
He had once been fond of Wen Wan. But ever since she had enraged him to the point of a stroke in his previous life, leaving him unable to move his limbs, that fondness had turned to disgust and humiliation. He felt that Wen Wan had probably smothered him to death in that life. Killing an emperor—even a paralyzed one—was not something just anyone could do.
Once some people in this world turned ruthless, even ghosts and gods would fear them.
Qi Junmu loathed Wen Wan so much that the very thought of spending his nights beside such a woman made his whole body stiffen.
Over time, he found himself wary of all women, feeling that each of them might become the next Wen Wan. Slowly, he lost all interest—even the urges and dreams of youth never came again.
He shouldn't have told Shen Nian any of this. But Qi Junmu thought, since he had already spoken of one thing, he might as well speak of all—lest Shen Nian's mind wander without anchor.
Qi Junmu had expected Shen Nian to ask something, but the moment he finished speaking, Shen Nian's gaze dropped to a rather inappropriate place.
Qi Junmu frowned and said, "I am perfectly fine." He wasn't lying—he had simply lost interest in carnal matters, not that he was incapable.
Shen Nian looked embarrassed and said sincerely, "Your Majesty, this humble subject meant nothing by it." It was just that suddenly hearing so much information, how could his mind not wander?
Qi Junmu gave a cold snort. But he was a magnanimous man and did not wish to argue over this with Shen Nian—that would only make him seem defensive.
Shen Nian froze for a moment, then suddenly understood. He felt as if he were drunk, his head spinning as he looked at the Emperor. So what did His Majesty mean by all this? No Empress, no consorts, no heirs in the future?
At this point, he no longer wanted to ask why there would be no Empress, or whether the Emperor planned to act against the Wen family, or why he would do such a thing. All he wanted now was to confirm whether the Emperor's words meant he could finally set his heart at ease…
"Marquis Shen." Seeing the look of delighted surprise on Shen Nian's face, Qi Junmu said seriously, "I said I would think it through. For now, let's set that matter aside. Shouldn't we be discussing how Cheng Jin evaluated Prince Rui? Prince Rui meeting privately with the Western Di envoy—if word of this reaches the capital, it would be extremely unfavorable for him."
"Your Majesty…" Shen Nian felt a breath catch in his throat, lodged somewhere between rising and falling, leaving him deeply unsettled. That was all he could manage to say.
Qi Junmu looked at him with a calm, composed expression, while thinking to himself: he was not deliberately getting back at Shen Nian for his earlier rudeness. He genuinely needed time to consider their private affair, and for now, he was more focused on Qi Junyan, who was far away in the West Frontier.
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