Chapter 58
Qi Junmu spoke these words with complete sincerity, yet also with a peculiar sense of loss. He had never expected that the first person to say this to him would be Shen Nian—or perhaps he had never even considered that anyone would ever say such a thing to him at all.
The Empress Dowager was his own birth mother, the most honored woman in all of Da Qi. The palace attendants dared not gossip about her; when he and the Empress Dowager clashed, even Ruan Jiqing, who served at his side, would not speak a single word against her. He could only stand silently to one side, doing his best not to add to the Emperor's agitation.
As for the court—that was even less likely. All the civil and military officials were men; who among them would ever discuss the Empress Dowager? Some even sided with the Empress Dowager, believing that for the Emperor, as a son, to argue with his mother was the height of unfilial conduct. They tried to use such matters to pressure the Emperor, hoping to make him reflect on his actions—and in doing so, to strengthen their own hold on power.
Even Lin Xiao, who had supported his rise to the throne, would hint to him, when speaking in confidence, that it was better to yield a step—that harmony between mother and son should come first.
No one thought the Empress Dowager was in the wrong. When they heard that she and the Emperor had exchanged harsh words, their very first thought was that the imperial family should value peace above all. As long as it was not a matter as grave as the Empress Dowager attempting to rule from behind the curtain, the Emperor should step back—and then step back again.
Qi Junmu understood his own grievances and humiliation, but he would never voice them.
Qi Junmu had thought he would have to endure such words for two lifetimes. He never imagined that today, he would hear the words "the Empress Dowager has gone too far" from Shen Nian's mouth. Qi Junmu did not consider himself an emotional person, yet when Shen Nian said that, a sharp pang of hurt rose in his heart.
It was as if someone had finally lifted a corner of the heavy curtain, letting a sliver of sunlight fall upon what lay beneath.
Just a few words—and yet Qi Junmu's heart felt warmed.
He gazed quietly at Shen Nian, only to see Shen Nian furrow his brow after speaking, a trace of chagrin flickering across his face. Qi Junmu raised an eyebrow slowly, thinking: Could it be that Shen Nian intends to take back what he just said?
Shen Nian looked up and met the Emperor's eyes.
The way the Emperor was looking at him made Shen Nian's heart tremble slightly. To keep his thoughts from being discovered, he hurriedly lowered his head and said, "Your Majesty, this humble subject should not have said those words just now..."
The Emperor gave a light "Mm," then smiled and said, "Never mind. I know you did not mean it."
At the very same moment, Shen Nian said, "It was improper to say, but it is what this humble subject truly feels. I simply believe Your Majesty has been wronged."
Both voices fell at the same time. Shen Nian looked up again and met the Emperor's eyes. He felt conflicted both inwardly and outwardly, wondering: What did the Emperor mean by that? Was he implying blame?
And then, Qi Junmu smiled. The hurt in his heart vanished in an instant.
Smile lines slowly spread from the corners of his eyes, softening the Emperor's cool, handsome face.
In that moment, only one thought filled Shen Nian's mind: this person, who was as lofty and unapproachable as the moon hanging in the sky, now felt so close to him—close enough that he could reach out and touch him, if he wished.
His mind was occupied with such thoughts, yet his words remained perfectly clear-headed. He heard himself say, half in earnest and half in jest: "Your Majesty, this humble subject dares not hide what is in his heart before you. I have been disrespectful to the Empress Dowager. If Your Majesty wishes to punish me, I will accept it."
"With you saying that, if I punished you, I would be wasting this loyal heart of yours," Qi Junmu said coolly.
Shen Nian gave a wink with his left eye, looking completely innocent.
Qi Junmu looked at him, his smile undiminished, and said, "Shen Nian, you are truly an interesting one."
Shen Nian was taken aback, his expression cautious, and asked, "Your Majesty, what do you mean by that? This humble subject is a military man—I have read few books, I am blunt by nature, and I cannot tell whether Your Majesty is praising me or mocking me."
"These words of mine are naturally words of praise," Qi Junmu replied without hesitation.
When he saw the faint smile appear on Shen Nian's face, Qi Junmu felt a touch of joy himself, pleased by the lightness of that smile. He spoke his heart aloud: "In all my years, you are the first person who has ever dared to say to me that the Empress Dowager has gone too far—and you will be the last. I am, in truth, a little glad."
Shen Nian was visibly startled—both by the Emperor's frankness and by the genuine happiness on his face. Then he said, "As long as Your Majesty does not fault this humble subject for being discourteous."
Qi Junmu smiled and shook his head, indicating that naturally he would not.
Qi Junmu found that talking with Shen Nian was truly a great comfort. After speaking with him, all the pent-up frustration and unhappiness melted away, leaving his heart feeling light and open.
Once the gloom in his heart had lifted, Qi Junmu found himself in good spirits.
When he was happy, he felt like granting Shen Nian some reward. But then he remembered that Shen Nian was currently under house arrest—giving him anything would be far too conspicuous. So instead, he kept him to share a meal together.
This could also give outsiders the impression that the Emperor and Marquis Zhenbei dining together meant they were resolving their differences.
Whether true or not, everyone would have their own speculations.
It was just after the two of them had finished eating that Ruan Jiqing came to report that Lin En had declined the marriage arrangement at the Empress Dowager's palace. He also reported that Fuhua had sent the Empress Dowager pastries she had made with her own hands—but the Empress Dowager had not even seen her, only sending her attendant Ruyan to tell Fuhua that her appetite had been poor lately and she did not care for sweets.
In front of Fuhua, Ruyan then bestowed the pastries upon some menial maidservants, saying it was the Empress Dowager's wish.
At that moment, the look on Fuhua's face was painful to see. She forced herself to bow toward the Empress Dowager's hall, then turned and walked away.
"They say the princess returned to her palace and wept bitterly for a long while," Ruan Jiqing concluded.
Of course, he whispered this directly into the Emperor's ear, his voice so low that Shen Nian, who was present, heard nothing at all.
A cold smile curled at the corner of Qi Junmu's mouth as he heard this. "How amusing," he said.
Shen Nian caught the calculating look in the Emperor's eyes and knew that there were matters he should not overhear. So he said, "Your Majesty, this humble subject still has unfinished business at the Imperial Guard Office. I shall take my leave."
Qi Junmu's expression returned to calm, and he smiled. "Go ahead and attend to your duties."
After Shen Nian had left, Qi Junmu looked at Ruan Jiqing and sighed. "My elder sister has been cherished in Mother's palm all her life. She has never endured such humiliation. She must be heartbroken."
He said those words from the heart—there was no twisted satisfaction in them.
The one who ignored him was the Empress Dowager; it had nothing to do with Fuhua. He had never once thought it unfair that Fuhua was favored by the Empress Dowager. This was the fault of the adults—what did it have to do with the other children, who were innocent as well?
Ruan Jiqing understood the Emperor's meaning and sighed along with him: "Indeed, who would say otherwise? With this, everyone in the rear palace knows that Her Majesty the Empress Dowager has publicly slapped the princess across the face. And in this palace, there is no shortage of people who fawn on the powerful and trample on the weak. The princess has never endured such hardship or such humiliation—this servant wonders if she will be able to bear it."
Qi Junmu cast a glance at Ruan Jiqing and said, "I rarely hear you speak up for anyone. What, has Fuhua given you some favor?"
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