Chapter 77
It was the first time Shen Nian had experienced the feeling of being anxious for someone—a feeling of wishing he could bear all the suffering in that person's place, wishing he could clear every obstacle before him.
Because of all these nagging concerns, Shen Nian lost sleep.
But only for one night. The next night, just as he felt the Emperor's breathing become steady and even, he slowly opened his eyes, intending to ponder in the dead of night what he might have done inadequately.
But no sooner had he opened his eyes than they met the Emperor's.
Qi Junmu smiled and asked him, "Can't sleep?"
Shen Nian had not expected to be caught by the Emperor. His first thought was: How did the Emperor know he hadn't fallen asleep?
The thought had barely formed in his mind when the Emperor's warm fingers brushed past the corner of his eye, and he heard the Emperor say gently, "You share my pillow. Whether you've rested well or not—I can naturally tell."
Shen Nian smiled at that, then reached out and took the Emperor's hand. "Then what else did Your Majesty see?"
"Nothing else, but I can see that you're very worried." Qi Junmu turned his hand over to hold Shen Nian's, speaking softly.
Shen Nian did not deny it, nor did he need to. He said, "I am indeed very worried."
He paused briefly, then looked up and gazed intently into the Emperor's eyes. "But I trust Your Majesty even more."
At those words, a look of pure joy broke across Qi Junmu's face. He lifted Shen Nian's hand and pressed a kiss to it, murmuring indistinctly, "Shen Nian, you truly make me so happy. I really want to…"
The rest of his words were muffled against the skin of Shen Nian's hand, and Shen Nian did not catch them. In a haze, gazing at the Emperor's smiling face, he thought to himself: It was all worth it.
That night, perhaps because they had talked, Shen Nian lay in Qi Junmu's arms and slept soundly.
But Qi Junmu lost sleep—not out of worry, but because he was thinking about why he and Shen Nian had missed each other in their past lives.
Fortunately, in this life, they had each other. They had missed nothing.
As the banquet drew near, the rumor in the palace that Princess Fuhua was to marry into Western Di grew increasingly rampant. At this, Qi Junmu flew into a great rage, and only then did the gossip in the palace quiet down somewhat.
When Fuhua heard about this, she came in person to thank him.
Qi Junmu saw that her expression was not good and said, "You are my sister. If I don't stand by you, whom would I stand by?"
Fuhua smiled and replied, "That is precisely why I must thank Your Majesty."
Qi Junmu frowned slightly at her forced smile and asked, "What does Imperial Mother think about this matter?"
Fuhua froze, a hint of bewilderment in her eyes. These past few days, she had felt almost invisible in the Empress Dowager's presence. The one who had always been a treasure in the Empress Dowager's heart had suddenly become the person she least wanted to see.
The days when the Empress Dowager used to hold her hand and teach her painting, calligraphy, and the zither now seemed as distant as a past life. Sometimes, when she woke from a dream in fright, she could not help but ask herself: Where had it gone wrong? How had things come to this?
They had been the closest of mother and daughter, yet now they were strangers—so much so that it was hard to believe.
Only recently, with the rumors flying, had the Empress Dowager's relationship with her eased somewhat. Under these circumstances, the Empress Dowager's intention was still for her to marry Lin En.
That way, she would avoid marrying into Western Di—and besides, the Empress Dowager truly believed it was a fine match.
Seeing Fuhua's expression, Qi Junmu knew what the Empress Dowager was thinking. He gave a soft sigh and asked, "And what do you think?"
Fuhua’s eyes were still clouded with confusion, but beneath it was something steadier. She said, "I still do not wish to marry Cousin Lin En."
Qi Junmu raised an eyebrow, surprised that Fuhua was so resolute—at least, this was something that had not happened in the previous life.
"Your Majesty, I do care about Imperial Mother's feelings, and I do not wish to have a strained relationship with her over this matter." Fuhua lowered her gaze and said quietly, "But these days, I simply cannot understand what Imperial Mother is thinking."
"She taught me the arts, gave me everything she could—and yet, just because of this marriage with Cousin Lin En… I cannot figure out what Imperial Mother is really thinking." By the end, Fuhua's voice held a hint of bewilderment.
Qi Junmu lowered his head and said, "Who can truly fathom Imperial Mother's mind?"
"So I've decided not to try anymore." Fuhua lifted her head, her tone somewhat lighter. "We've come this far—I don't want to turn back."
Qi Junmu understood what Fuhua meant. The Empress Dowager had already given her the cold shoulder for Lin En's sake.
If Fuhua now turned back because of a few rumors and a little setback, her relationship with the Empress Dowager would not be repaired—so there was no point in doing so anyway. As the Empress Dowager's most beloved daughter and Emperor Jing's eldest daughter, Fuhua had her own pride—the pride of being the eldest princess.
Having thought this through, Qi Junmu said, "No matter what, just remember this: you are my own sister. I will not let you marry into Western Di, nor will I force you to marry Cousin Lin En."
Fuhua smiled, and the gloom in her eyes lifted considerably. She said, "I know. And it is because I have Your Majesty that I have such confidence."
Qi Junmu acknowledged her with a hum, then let Fuhua take her leave.
Fuhua walked back with a relatively light step. When she returned to her palace, she was told that Yueqing was waiting for her.
Fuhua acknowledged with a quiet sound, then walked over calmly.
Fuhua and Yueqing actually got along fairly well. There were only two princesses in the palace, but compared to Fuhua—whose mother was the Empress Dowager and whose younger brother was the Emperor—Yueqing was far less conspicuous.
It was only recently, when the Empress Dowager deliberately promoted Yueqing to spite Fuhua, that she became less of a nobody in the palace. Yueqing herself was quite restrained about the whole affair, but her mother consort clung to the Empress Dowager eagerly.
When Fuhua saw Yueqing, she greeted her.
Yueqing looked at Fuhua somewhat warily, and when she saw that she seemed in good spirits, she started chatting with her about everyday matters.
The two sisters got along in a relatively harmonious manner.
After a cup of tea, both fell silent.
Finally, Yueqing could not hold back. She said, "Sister seems in good spirits today."
It was a statement of fact. Fuhua did not deny it and nodded. "You've heard the recent rumors too. I just went to see His Majesty, and he said he would handle the matter."
"I see," Yueqing said softly, then looked at Fuhua. "Sister, have you ever resented me because of the Empress Dowager?"
Fuhua raised an eyebrow, her expression sharp. "Imperial Mother used to dote on me the most. Now that she's shifted her affection to you, of course it hurts to see that. But you should also know my character—I distinguish between grudges and favors. This has nothing to do with you. Even if I feel uncomfortable inside, it's not your fault that the Empress Dowager favors you. So I have never thought of resenting or hating you."
Hearing this, Yueqing was silent for a moment, then said with a faintly mocking smile, "The Empress Dowager's heart still belongs to you, sister. I am merely a plaything she uses to provoke you. A few days ago, the Empress Dowager hinted to my mother consort that if Western Di truly wanted to marry a princess, it would not be you."
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