Chapter 59
Qi Junmu naturally noticed that Shen Nian's expression had changed. Unwilling to let the man misunderstand that he had sent someone to keep an eye on him, he was about to explain himself when Shen Nian spread his hands in a shrug, his face alight with curiosity: "How did Your Majesty know that Cheng Jin wrote to this humble subject mentioning Prince Rui?"
Qi Junmu fixed his gaze on him. He saw nothing but curiosity in Shen Nian's expression—no suspicion—and his eyes were filled with trust.
Qi Junmu smiled slightly. "Cheng Jin follows you about like a young hawk just out of the nest. He was so far from the capital, and with Prince Rui also out on the West Frontier, he had no one he truly trusted by his side. Do you really think he could keep his mouth shut about everything?"
Shen Nian chuckled a couple of times and muttered, "I never imagined Your Majesty knew Cheng Jin so well—he's hardly even been in your presence a handful of times."
He murmured so softly that it would have been inaudible to most, but the two of them were standing close, and Qi Junmu caught every word clearly.
Without thinking, Qi Junmu replied, "It's not him I know—it's you. Shen Nian, I may not trust others, but you I trust."
Shen Nian hadn't expected the Emperor to say such a thing. For a long moment, he simply stared at the Emperor, utterly dumbstruck.
For someone who has lost their heart, an offhand remark from the one they love is the most stirring and devastating thing of all. Knowing full well that the Emperor meant nothing more by it, Shen Nian could not stop his carefully hidden heart from pounding uncontrollably.
Qi Junmu had spoken from the heart—he truly meant every word.
But when he saw Shen Nian staring at him so directly and blankly, a faint unease he could not quite name stirred in his chest. What had been an ordinary, sincere thought suddenly seemed to carry another meaning entirely, wrapped in that strange discomfort.
Restless and somewhat awkward, Qi Junmu felt an urge to look away from Shen Nian's gaze.
He did not act on it, however. Partly, he suppressed that unfamiliar emotion and endured it; partly, it was because Shen Nian's eyes were extraordinarily beautiful—especially when fixed on someone with such intensity.
Just as they were now, Shen Nian's eyes were brilliantly bright, as though scattered with starlight—so lovely that one could not look away.
Qi Junmu unconsciously licked his lips. He had a sudden urge to reach out and trace Shen Nian's gentle, jade-like face. He wondered if, on the battlefield, Shen Nian wore that same countenance into the fray—or if his brows were sharper, his bearing more ferocious, like an unsheathed blade? Such a blend of gentleness and edge in a single person made one long to see the other side of him.
Qi Junmu was still inwardly marveling when he felt the soft, warm skin beneath his hand. He jolted back to himself—he had actually placed his palm over Shen Nian's eyes. Coming to his senses, he could even feel the long lashes trembling against his palm.
Perhaps it was this slightly presumptuous gesture that startled Shen Nian, who had witnessed countless bloody scenes. Shen Nian stood frozen, his whole body rigid. For the first time in his life, Qi Junmu felt a flutter of panic—for the first time, he had made such an improper and intimate gesture toward another person.
And the most crucial part was that this person was not one of his consorts, but his most valued minister.
An emperor doing such a thing to a subject—it was all too easy to think of the affairs of broken sleeves and bitten peaches.
[Emperor Ai of Han cutting his sleeve rather than waking his sleeping male lover Dong Xian, and Duke Ling of Wei sharing a bitten peach with his favorite Mi Zixia — both became enduring symbols of romantic and intimate bonds between men.]
If Shen Nian took offense, the loss would be far greater than the gain.
Qi Junmu withdrew his hand, thinking these thoughts, yet he found that the very idea did not stir any aversion in him.
Or rather, because it was Shen Nian, even such a breach of bounds was something he could tolerate.
At that realization, Qi Junmu's long-sealed, immobile heart gave a faint tremor.
Snapping out of his profound shock, Shen Nian came back to himself. He looked at the Emperor before him, his mind a complete blank. He knew he should say something to ease the tension, but his lips moved without a single sound emerging.
A moment ago, the Emperor had slowly reached out and covered his face.
In that instant, he could see nothing—yet he felt not a shred of fear. Because this was the Emperor, Qi Junmu—a man who would never harm him.
This was also the man he secretly loved. Feeling the warmth of the Emperor's hand, he felt not the dread of losing his sight, but a secret joy mixed with disbelief.
Perhaps this would be the closest he ever came to the Emperor in this lifetime—perhaps he would never have such a chance again. The Emperor had suddenly stepped beyond the boundary between sovereign and subject—could it be that there was a hint of reciprocal feeling in his heart as well?
Shen Nian knew he should not entertain such thoughts, yet he allowed himself this one excuse: Just this once, let me quietly savor the taste of a wish fulfilled. Once this moment passes, we will return to being ordinary sovereign and subject.
With that thought, Shen Nian pulled himself together. He split himself in two: one part brimming with longing, the other cool and composed.
The composed Shen Nian smiled at the Emperor—the same smile as always—a perfect copy that revealed nothing more. He said with a light laugh, "Your Majesty, is there something dirty on this humble subject's face? If so, does this count as a breach of courtly decorum in your presence?"
He had offered the Emperor a graceful way out—an excellent one. With a single sentence, the Emperor could take that path and bury the earlier indiscretion completely. The Emperor would remain the Emperor, and he would remain a subject.
A perfect balance.
Everything that had just happened was nothing more than a harmless jest from the Emperor. As his subject, Shen Nian would not take it to heart; and as the sovereign, Qi Junmu had no reason to dwell on it.
Qi Junmu naturally understood that Shen Nian was handing him an escape. This was entirely beyond his expectations, and his heart was tinged with unease and agitation.
He knew clearly that if he took that path, everything would return to normal. Yet, looking at Shen Nian, who smiled so candidly while making excuses for his impropriety, his heart stirred once more.
Shen Nian's flawless composure was itself a crack in the armor. What minister who held the realm's military power, when subjected to such a suggestive gesture by the sovereign, would first think to help the Emperor save face? Shouldn't he have been angry—insulted—humiliated even?
With a mind both restless and razor-sharp,l, Qi Junmu analyzed the situation and reached a conclusion he had never considered before.
Shen Nian was a proud man. Unless he harbored some feeling of his own, even if the other party were the Emperor, he would never tolerate such treatment.
And what about himself? For once, Qi Junmu felt lost. He had never imagined things turning out this way, nor had he foreseen his relationship with Shen Nian crossing the sovereign-subject line.
Now that it was all laid before him, his first reaction was to calmly analyze Shen Nian's heart.
At the same time, he knew that he did not dislike Shen Nian.
In that moment, Qi Junmu thought of many things—both the good and the bad—turning them over in his mind.
But all of that could be set aside for now. What mattered most was how to respond to Shen Nian.
After a moment's careful consideration, Qi Junmu looked at Shen Nian and said slowly, "No."
Shen Nian, who had been waiting for the Emperor to take the cue, blinked in confusion. Without thinking, he echoed, "What?"
Without flinching, Qi Junmu told the truth: "There's nothing dirty on your face. I just thought your eyes were very beautiful."
"Ah?" Shen Nian was utterly stunned. He could not understand why the Emperor would say such a thing—or rather, he dared not understand.
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