Chapter 55
Why?
Shen Nian asked himself the same question. But he didn't dare think too deeply about it—or rather, even if he had figured it out, he wouldn't dare say it to the Emperor's face.
So he braced himself, kept his expression steady, and said, "Your Majesty, this humble subject is a loyal minister who loves his country. My only intention is to share Your Majesty's burdens."
Qi Junmu just looked at him without speaking. Shen Nian fell silent for a moment, then added with a soft, smiling tone: "As the saying goes, a true knight dies for one who understands him. Your Majesty trusts me, and as the Son of Heaven, you lack nothing. I can think of no better way to repay that trust than with my loyalty. I know this may sound a bit improper, but it's truly how I feel."
"One who understands him," Qi Junmu repeated, turning the words over in his mind. Then he suddenly smiled—his brows softening, the smile spilling to the corners of his lips, the coldness melting from his face like a withered winter branch unexpectedly sprouting new leaves, bringing spring back to the land.
Everything felt impossibly beautiful.
Shen Nian stared at the Emperor, momentarily dazed.
In that instant, he heard his own heart with startling clarity—it was far from quiet. It was pounding violently, as if he had just sprinted a full lap around the palace. His breathing came tight, and his heart grew restless.
Never before had Shen Nian imagined a heart could beat like this.
Violent. Tense. Uneasy. And yet—joyful.
Before Qi Junmu's expression returned to calm, Shen Nian had already tucked away every trace of emotion from his eyes. He sat there quietly, looking at the Emperor as if at an old friend.
Qi Junmu said, "I understand."
Shen Nian dropped his gaze with a small smile, then rose to his feet. "Your Majesty, if that's the case, then please allow me to leave the palace. It doesn't sound very proper to keep a minister under house arrest in the imperial palace, does it?"
"On the contrary—keeping you here is the best course," Qi Junmu said with a shake of his head. "In the eyes of others, nowhere is safer than the palace. If you stay here, your subordinates won't be able to send you messages. That reassures them—and it also keeps you safe. I don't want you to be framed outside the palace. You made too many enemies in court today."
Shen Nian looked uneasy. "But—"
"There are no buts." Qi Junmu's expression was calm. "Weren't you the one who just said you see me as someone who truly understands you? If you are truly loyal, then you must also trust me. Or do you think I'm the sort of person who uses people and then tosses them away?"
"No, not at all," Shen Nian said quickly, caught off guard. "Your Majesty is certainly not that kind of person."
Qi Junmu said, "My words have been spoken, and a ruler's words cannot be taken back. You've rested in the side hall of Qianhua Hall before—you may stay there for now."
Shen Nian's mind was in a jumble, and he truly couldn't think of a suitable excuse. So he said, "This humble subject obeys. But while I am under house arrest, I'm afraid I won't be able to oversee the Imperial Guard."
"That's fine," Qi Junmu said casually. "Who in the capital doesn't know that Marquis Zhenbei enjoys my favor? If you can still command the Imperial Guard even after making a mistake, that itself is the greatest sign of imperial favor."
Shen Nian: "..." He understood clearly—the Emperor was giving him an excuse so he wouldn't feel constrained.
The Emperor was worried that if he sat idle in the palace doing nothing, he would fall into despair. Like an eagle with its wings clipped, losing its former spirit and wasting away entirely.
In some ways, the Emperor was a deeply gentle person. At that thought, Shen Nian's lips curved into a smile.
For a while, neither spoke, but the silence wasn't awkward—it was rather harmonious.
After a moment, Qi Junmu told Shen Nian to go rest in the side hall. Shen Nian knew that the Emperor had many matters to attend to—and besides, having just placed him under house arrest, it wouldn't do to be too indulgent—so he rose and took his leave.
After he left, Qi Junmu leaned back against his chair, his expression unreadable.
He was thinking about Shen Nian. The grand, lofty words Shen Nian had spoken—he believed them, and yet he didn't fully believe them. Shen Nian was not the type to overstep his bounds simply out of loyalty. And yet lately, he had overstepped many times.
Qi Junmu was no fool. Perhaps with those he trusted, he could be blinded by that trust—but not with ordinary people.
Shen Nian's actions left him somewhat puzzled. But deep down, he didn't dislike this feeling.
Being cared for so naturally, so matter-of-factly—for Qi Junmu, it was a brand-new experience.
In this world, the Emperor is the loneliest of all.
No matter how good the bond between ruler and subject, it can never escape those two words: ruler and subject.
He treated Qi Junzhuo well, and Qi Junzhuo treated him well in return—but even so, Qi Junzhuo always had to observe the strict rites of ruler and subject.
The Empress Dowager was his mother, and she cared for him—but her affection was tangled with too many personal feelings.
Wen Wan was his Empress. Husband and wife should have been the closest of people—yet they were more distant than strangers.
In all of Da Qi, only Shen Nian cared for him with a heart unclouded by hidden motives, and without being overly constrained by the formalities of ruler and subject.
Qi Junmu rather liked this feeling. It was a little out of control, a little dangerous—and yet it made him anticipate what might come next.
Qi Junmu felt that his mindset was quite problematic. He had a sense that if he kept indulging Shen Nian like this, something irreversible would inevitably happen. The strange thing was—he understood this perfectly clearly, yet he had no desire to change the current situation.
Nor did he want to change Shen Nian's attitude toward him.
Let it be as it is, Qi Junmu thought. For now, nothing needs to change.
Compared to Qi Junmu's vague, hazy feelings, Shen Nian understood his own situation far more clearly.
After all, he had encountered such things at the border. Life on the frontier was harsh—many men spent years stationed at the frontier and never had the chance to marry. Others could not marry due to physical disabilities.
So they would become sworn brothers, forming a bond of companionship—a pact to support each other and share their lives together like family.
That was also why, back at the Shen residence, when Wen shi made a scene and Old Madam Shen said that Shen Yi had fallen for someone he shouldn't have—Shen Nian suddenly understood why Emperor Jing had treated Shen Yi with such conflicted ambivalence.
Only love could turn into hatred upon betrayal. Only love could make a man swallow that hatred and still protect Shen Yi, ensuring his safety far away at the frontier.
When Shen Nian realized all this, he felt utterly helpless.
He thought: perhaps, in the eyes of Emperor Jing and Shen Yi, he was someone who should never have been born.
But no one in this world can choose their own birth—not him, not Shen Yi, not even Emperor Jing.
So Shen Nian did not wallow in self-pity. The mistakes and missed chances of his father's generation were not his doing. He might feel pained and sorrowful, but he would not let guilt consume him.
He didn't want that. He couldn't change the past—he could only live well in the present.
Shen Nian didn't know exactly when he had lost his heart to the Emperor. Perhaps people are drawn to appearances—those who are beautiful always catch the eye.
The first time he set foot in the capital, he saw the Emperor sitting in the Farewell Pavilion. Snow was falling, and the Emperor's features were even clearer and colder than the snow itself. At that moment, Shen Nian had thought: Who knew the Emperor could be so handsome?
Because of the matter of defying the imperial decree, he had always assumed the Emperor would be a solemn, seasoned man with all kinds of political schemes aimed at the frontier generals.
But the Emperor had surprised him—truly surprised him.
From the very start—whether it was refusing to let him observe mourning, or the trust he had shown him time and again.
To be trusted and protected by a sovereign so far above all others—it was a strange and wonderful thing. Shen Nian had wanted to study this Emperor, to figure out what he truly wanted.
And somewhere along the way, without realizing it, the Emperor had filled his every thought.
At this, Shen Nian let out a soft laugh.
But he had no intention of letting the Emperor discover his feelings. Because the Emperor was the Emperor—and the rear palace held an Empress, the woman the Emperor loved.
And he had his own pride. Even if he loved someone, he would not fight for them against another.
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