Chapter 165
As Wang Jin recounted the events slowly, scene after scene from the past flashed through Cheng Bai's mind like slides.
His face grew paler and paler, his eyes darker and gloomier. Finally, as if breaking down, he stood up, his eyes red as he roared at Wang Jin, "Are you blaming me? Blaming me for how I treated you before, so now you're treating me like this to take revenge? To get back at me for all the wrongs you suffered?"
"..." Wang Jin's mouth twitched. He had no such thought, nor was he as uncharitable as Cheng Bai to have treated the original owner that way.
He shook his head, facing the very agitated Cheng Bai, and asked calmly in return, "Do I look like I'm seeking revenge on you right now?"
"..." Cheng Bai was stunned. Gazing into the clear eyes of the little delicate one, his turbulent emotions seemed washed by those spring-like eyes, gradually calming down.
Both knew this wasn't revenge. If seeking revenge, the ger before him simply wouldn't have come to see him.
Moreover, although the little delicate one's words had just laid bare the past neither of them wished to mention, and his tone might have held some reproach, they carried no intent for revenge.
Cheng Bai sat down again, appearing much calmer.
Seeing Cheng Bai like this, Wang Jin also softened his attitude. "I just wanted to tell you how much Xi Yao used to like you. If you had done these things for Xi Yao back then, I dare guarantee Brother Heng would never have appeared."
Not only would Yuan Heng not have appeared, but he, Wang Jin, might never have been revived in Xi Yao's body.
"..." Cheng Bai was filled with regret. Pale-faced, he murmured, "I already know I was wrong, so why is it... impossible for us? I don't mind that you're with child, as long as you're willing..."
"I am not willing." Wang Jin's face darkened, cutting him off.
He could be with Yuan Heng because he loved that man, but he couldn't imagine being with the person before him.
Besides, he was now carrying that man's child in his belly. How could he possibly let that child call someone else father? Just the thought made his skin crawl.
Wang Jin patiently continued, "Things are different now, Cheng Bai. You and Xi... 'I' have already missed our chance."
"You can understand it this way." Wang Jin pursed his lips, thought for a moment, and said through gritted teeth, "The Xi Yao from back then is already dead."
"..." Cheng Bai remained silent.
Wang Jin's heartbeat quickened slightly. He had never made such an assumption to anyone before, fearing the idea of his soul inhabiting another's body was too fantastical and would be accepted nowhere and by no one in this world. Now that he had voiced this hypothesis, he felt somewhat apprehensive. But seeing the person before him showed no sign of finding it strange, Wang Jin secretly breathed a sigh of relief.
He continued, "What's missed is missed. It cannot be redone, Cheng Bai. You shouldn't cling to the past anymore. You can look forward. Someone as outstanding as you, are you afraid you won't find another ger?"
"..." Cheng Bai lowered his gaze, a trace of sorrow flashing in his eyes.
Beastmen were deeply devoted in love. Once they gave their heart to someone, it became very difficult for them to care for another. He had given his heart to the little delicate one; it was likely he would love only him for the rest of his life. If the little delicate one would not accept him, then Cheng Bai would simply grow old alone. Such an outcome was not rare in the beastman world.
"...If there were no Yuan Heng, perhaps the outcome would be different." Cheng Bai said gloomily.
Wang Jin gave a sudden jolt. He quickly said, "The outcome would have been the same. Even without Brother Heng, I still would not have chosen you, because we had already missed our chance from the very beginning. Do you understand?"
This was the truth. Had the choice been his to make, this Cheng Bai might have become his advisor, but Wang Jin knew he would never have fallen in love with him. The only man who could ever stir his heart was Yuan Heng alone, Wang Jin thought silently to himself.
Cheng Bai didn't say a word, his expression appearing very stubborn, as if he couldn't understand why Xi Yao wouldn't choose him.
Wang Jin understood his confusion. After all, Xi Yao had once been so deeply infatuated with the man before him... Yet now, despite having regained those memories, he showed not a single trace of that former affection...
If Cheng Bai knew Xi Yao and Wang Jin were two different people, perhaps he could understand. But how could this matter be spoken of openly?
If it couldn't be spoken of, then the only way was to make Cheng Bai firmly believe that Xi Yao had been disappointed in love, and it had to be well-reasoned, convincing enough for the person before him at least.
Wang Jin lowered his eyes in thought, then said softly, "Cheng Bai, a person's heart... can grow cold."
Cheng Bai trembled. Wang Jin said, "There are some things I originally didn't want to say, but since you are so stubborn, I will tell you."
"Back then, 'I' was tricked into leaving the city, thinking you were preparing to take 'me' away. Who knew, upon arriving, it was beastman assassins. They chased me all the way. In the jungle, I faced life and death several times, thinking of..."
Wang Jin paused, frowning slightly. His memory now couldn't fully recall Xi Yao's emotions during those dangerous times before. However, Xi Yao back then wasn't very close to Xi Ning. When in danger, the person he must have thought of was definitely Cheng Bai...
He parted his lips slightly, looking at Cheng Bai, and said, "The person I thought of was you."
"!" Cheng Bai's fingers trembled and curled inward.
Wang Jin, recalling and putting himself in Xi Yao's place, said, "I prayed that you would come to save me, to find me... but you never did. I ended up in the Danmu Tribe, my mind shattered and my wits gone... and then I forgot everything, including you. Have you ever wondered why?"
"...The healer said it was because you..."
"Yes, the healer's examination said there was something wrong with my body, that's why it happened. But... do you really think that's the whole reason?"
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