Chapter 11
"Thank you for your concern, Mother-in-law. Hezhi will definitely serve the Master well."
Fang Yu tilted his head, nearly crushing the teacup in his hand. He looked at Qiao Hezhi with shock, thinking: This silly young master, why isn't he following the script at all?
"As long as you know your limits, that's good. It's getting late, I need to rest. The two of you should head back early."
Fang Yu wanted to say more, but the servants quickly ushered him outside. He looked up at the eaves silhouetted against the twilight, pondering his next move.
He didn't know when the winter wind had picked up, bringing with it a rain that seeped cold into the bones.
Qiao Hezhi followed behind Fang Yu, his face stinging from the biting wind. Seeing Fang Yu remain motionless for a long time, lost in thought, he supposed that perhaps Fang Yu was thinking of his cousin at that moment.
His heart sank, but he still held onto hope.
Before his marriage, his mother had taught him that some things in life must be actively pursued. If one always let matters follow their natural course, even outcomes that seemed certain could be swayed by others. Even if Fang Yu's heart already belonged to another, why shouldn't he strive to create his own place within it?
They had been married for so long, yet their marriage remained unconsummated. It was one thing for the servants to gossip among themselves, but if word got out, their reputation would be ruined. Since there was an opportunity, he ought to seize it.
He paused, secretly took a deep breath, stepped forward, and tentatively reached out to gently take Fang Yu's hand, calling out softly, "Ziruo."
Feeling the warmth on his fingers, Fang Yu withdrew his gaze from the eaves and instinctively looked down, seeing the pale fingers resting on the back of his hand.
Seeing that Fang Yu didn't resist, Qiao Hezhi laced his fingers into Fang Yu's palm: "It's cold outside. Let's go back to our room."
Fang Yu's heart couldn't help but stir. In such a scene and atmosphere, even an iron tree might be moved to blossom.
[铁树开花 (tiě shù kāi huā): lit. an iron tree blossoms; fig. an extremely rare or almost impossible event finally happening, or a highly stubborn person changing their ways.]
Even though he had a bellyful of words he wanted to say, seeing the servants from several rooms watching, his heart softened, and he couldn't bring himself to tell Qiao Hezhi to go back alone. He felt a pang of heartache for Qiao Hezhi. Tightening his grip, he held Qiao Hezhi's hand firmly in return and said, "Let's go."
He led him by the hand to Bicang Small Pavilion.
The main bedroom was scented with warm incense, and as soon as the door closed, it shut out the cold air. Usually, Fang Yu would take off his outer robe first upon entering, relaxing and preparing to rest. But today, Qiao Hezhi was also in the room. Moreover, Siyu and Xuezhu had slipped out earlier, saying they were going to prepare hot water for the two of them. With all the servants gone, and just the two people alone together, the atmosphere became inexplicably tense.
Qiao Hezhi stood in the room, clutching the hand that Fang Yu had held. This person had pulled him into the room but then remained silent. He was also at a loss. Although before the wedding, the family had hired an older ger to teach him some etiquette and rules, when it came down to it, he was still an innocent young man and naturally felt shy.
But remaining deadlocked was not a solution. Steeling his resolve, he decided to simply serve him as expected. After all, he had come to understand his husband a little over these past days. Presumably, he wouldn't make things too difficult for him. So he said, "It was raining outside, we've caught some chill. Perhaps... perhaps Hezhi could help the Master undress for bed?"
Fang Yu quickly grabbed the paw reaching for his chest: "Just taking off the cloak is fine, I can do it myself. You take yours off too, I'll hang it up for you."
Qiao Hezhi did as Fang Yu said. After taking off his cloak, he hesitated, wondering if he should continue removing other clothes. Fang Yu, having hung both their cloaks on the clothes rack and turned back, saw his hesitant appearance and immediately guessed his thoughts. He took him by the wrist, guided him to the table, and sat him down.
"Do you really want to consummate the marriage with me?"
Qiao Hezhi looked at Fang Yu in a daze: "What does the Master mean?"
"Just now, I thought it over carefully. Perhaps it's good to have a proper talk with you now."
Qiao Hezhi obediently nodded: "I'm listening. Please speak, Master."
"If you are unwilling in your heart, then we don't have to consummate the marriage."
Upon hearing this, Qiao Hezhi's eyes clouded, and he said gloomily, "Why does the Master think I'm unwilling? What if I said I am willing?"
"Then I would have to say that I am not prepared."
Qiao Hezhi was speechless upon hearing this. He never would have thought Fang Yu would say this to him. He couldn't help but look up at him. Seeing his serious expression, his face reddened, and he stammered, "Then... then... should we find a tutor in private?"
Fang Yu nearly choked, coughing slightly as he struggled to process the young master's implication: Where in the heavens had his thoughts wandered off to?
"Don't let your thoughts run wild. It's not that I can't, or that I don't know how."
"By 'not prepared,' I mean we've only been married for little over a month, and we weren't familiar with each other before. If I were to share a bed with you now, it would inevitably seem like I'm taking you lightly."
Qiao Hezhi's face instantly flushed crimson, like a cooked crab, wishing he could find a crack in the ground to hide in: "I... I misunderstood."
Fang Yu looked at Qiao Hezhi, whose ear tips were red, and suddenly felt he was really quite likable. Precisely because of this, he couldn't treat him so casually.
It was all too easy for a man to sleep with someone—just a matter of taking off clothes and a few hours. Moreover, it was a little beauty offering himself. No matter how anyone looked at it, he was the one gaining everything.
To put it bluntly, if he cast integrity aside, he could certainly take what was offered. Not only would he enjoy himself, but it would also save a lot of trouble. But he had always been one to cherish his personal integrity. More importantly, Qiao Hezhi had shown him nothing but kindness—how could he possibly repay that gentleness with such casual disregard?
He comfortingly stroked Qiao Hezhi's hair: "Don't be nervous."
Yet for all of Qiao Hezhi's beauty, it could not conceal the youthful innocence of his face. In truth, he was merely a sixteen-year-old youth who had been married into the Fang family—a place with a stern mother-in-law and, until recently, a distant husband. The thought stirred a genuine ache of pity in Fang Yu's heart.
These past days, he had also carefully thought it over. They had already performed the wedding ceremony. Given the current social environment, they couldn't easily sever their marital ties.
From his interactions over the past few days, Qiao Hezhi was gentle, virtuous, harmonious, and had a good temperament. He didn't feel any aversion towards him. Although he couldn't say he liked him yet, getting along well wasn't a problem, and he could accept it.
He thought that Qiao Hezhi was still young, and actually, the original owner wasn't old either. They still had plenty of time to slowly get to know each other, there was no need to rush the marital procedures.
"We can get to know each other first. You absolutely don't need to force yourself because of pressure from my mother or the servants' gazes. I can cover for you regarding these matters. Wait for the day when you feel I am someone trustworthy and can be a proper husband to you. Then we can consider the issue of descendants. For now, you are still young, just focus on yourself."
Even though he was being rejected for sharing a bed, Qiao Hezhi felt moved listening to him. Although he wanted to say that most people hadn't met before marriage either, and still consummated the marriage on the wedding night—and naturally, the teachings he received said the same—but given the choice, what Fang Yu said was undoubtedly better. He had thought of everything so thoroughly for him, what reason did he have to refuse?
"I will follow the Master's arrangements."
"It's not that I want to arrange things for you, I just want you to have more choices." Fang Yu's eyebrow twitched slightly, and he leaned a little closer to Qiao Hezhi, lowering his voice: "Of course, if you still want to tonight... it's not impossible. After all, it's no loss for me."
Qiao Hezhi leaned back slightly, knowing Fang Yu was teasing him, and smiled: "I understand."
His expression grew more serious, his gaze steady as it held Fang Yu's. "Do not lie to me,"
"I am not lying," Fang Yu replied, his own voice low and earnest. "Every word I have said is sincere."
Qiao Hezhi pressed his lips together and nodded. He stood up: "Then I shall return to Xiaotong Courtyard first."
"If you go back, it will give us away." Fang Yu pulled him back. He turned and fetched two quilts from the wardrobe, spreading them on the couch as he said, "You rest here. Later, I'll sleep on the couch."
Qiao Hezhi quickly said, "I can sleep on the couch." Since this was originally to protect him, how could he let Fang Yu suffer the discomfort.
"Your health isn't good to begin with, why should you sleep on the couch?" Fang Yu said: "I've long been accustomed to hard beds from my time in the countryside. Sleeping on the couch is nothing. But you, I'm sure you've never suffered much hardship."
After Fang Yu finished making the bed: "Rest. Later, I'll have the servants bring in hot water. Just rest and pay no mind, I'll send them away myself."
A quiet warmth bloomed within Qiao Hezhi's chest, and for the first time, he allowed himself to feel a flicker of anticipation for the future Fang Yu had just promised.
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