Chapter 134
Zhao Ger saw Fang Zichen carrying their son and heading straight out, so he grabbed him: "Don't you go causing trouble."
Fang Zichen waved his hand: "Don't worry!"
Guaizai held the puppy, while he held Guaizai. The two humans and one dog marched with menacing aura towards the river.
They met some people on the road who asked where they were going. Fang Zichen only said they were just taking a stroll.
But everyone in the village knew about Guaizai getting pecked by Fourth Grandfather He's gander. Seeing the direction they were headed and the hemp rope in Fang Zichen's hand, the crowd understood.
He was going to get justice for his son! It was exactly noon, wushi (11 AM-1 PM), and Fourth Grandfather He wasn't watching the ducks, he had already gone home for lunch.
The ducks were swimming freely all over the river, occasionally diving underwater. Among the flock of ducks, several large geese with their long necks were particularly conspicuous.
Fang Zichen scanned the area, his gaze landing on the gander. He raised his hand and pointed: "Son, is that the one?"
Guaizai nodded his big head: "Yes, yes, that one."
Without another word, Fang Zichen set Guaizai down by the riverbank, rolled up his trouser legs, took off his shoes, and waded into the river.
But he had truly underestimated it.
Geese were different from ducks.
The ducks saw him, quacked, and swam away. That gander, however, feared no danger and had the audacity to squawk at Fang Zichen.
It was like a male lion, attempting to use its sharp cries to intimidate the invader.
As Fang Zichen closed in and made a grab for its neck, the gander dodged with a swift twist of its long neck, darted to the side, and then struck, pecking the back of his hand with a sharp, painful jab.
"Holy crap~" Fang Zichen let out a yelp, startling the ducks into scattering. He quickly pulled his hand back, shaking it incessantly. This time it really hurt; a large red, swollen bump instantly appeared on his fair skin.
After all, he was a young master who had been pampered by his family, with food, clothing, and everything attended to by servants. He had eaten duck meat, but as for catching a duck, it was truly like a young lady getting into the bridal sedan chair (the first time ever).
The combat power of the large gander was simply beyond imagination.
After taking that hit, Fang Zichen felt inexplicably timid. After a few unsuccessful attempts, he only managed to anger the gander further.
The gander chased Fang Zichen, pecking furiously. In the water, it was the other's 'domain'. Fang Zichen, like a dog being chased, rushed back to the riverbank, scooped up Guaizai, and ran.
Meanwhile, someone from the village had gone to report to Fourth Grandfather He, urging him to go and see. When that gander turned fierce, even ordinary men gave it a wide berth. They were worried Fang Zichen might be injured. He was the only person in Xiaohe Village in a hundred years with any hope of passing the Xiucai exam. If he were to get bruised or harmed, what would they do?
What was destined to come had finally arrived.
Fourth Grandfather He's hands trembled. He dropped his bowl and chopsticks and immediately rushed out.
From a distance, he could hear Guaizai's giggling laughter, clear as a mountain deer's gentle call. Fourth Grandfather He looked closely and saw Fang Zichen, his clothes wet and disheveled, being chased by his family's gander, howling as he ran.
Fang Zichen had never intended to use serious force; a single, proper strike with a stick would have finished the gander. Had he done so, he wouldn't be in this undignified position, being chased by a mere animal, not only looking wretched but also losing face.
But Guaizai didn't understand. Fang Zichen was powerful enough to defeat ghosts, the most capable man in the world, utterly invincible. At that moment, Guaizai simply believed his father was playing a game on purpose, playing around, and was extremely happy..
It was so exciting.
"Father, the goosey is about to catch up, run fast, run fast~"
Fang Zichen glanced at him, too out of breath to speak evenly.
It's easy to talk big when you're not the one running.
The riverbank was covered in pebbles. He was barefoot, stepping on them as if they were steel spikes—how could he run fast?
His butt got pecked again. Fang Zichen's 'chrysanthemum' tightened, and tears nearly spurted out.
"Your grandpa's..."
Fang Zichen was now certain.
This damned bird was a lecherous goose.
First, it had pecked his son's chest, and now it was attacking his butt. It seemed that when a man was excessively handsome, he was irresistible not just to people of all ages, but even to animals.
There was a basket by the river, originally used for holding vegetables to feed the geese. Fourth Grandfather He dumped all the vegetable leaves out in one go. Not stopping to worry about whether he might hurt the gander, he watched for the right moment. Just as the large gander reached Fang Zichen's butt again, he covered it with the basket.
The gander went berserk. Fourth Grandfather He pressed down on the basket with all his might and almost couldn't hold it.
Fang Zichen let out a deep sigh of relief, as if he had survived a great ordeal.
He didn't know Fourth Grandfather He, thinking he was just a passerby who saw injustice and drew his sword to help. After thanking him a couple of times, he noticed the other man seemed to hesitate, as if somewhat embarrassed, and stepped aside but didn't leave. Fang Zichen didn't pay it much mind.
He took the hemp rope and, right in front of the owner, tied up the large gander, hanging it upside down from a large tree by the river.
The large gander flapped its two huge wings incessantly, crying out desperately.
"Go on! Cry out! Just cry out!" Fang Zichen said like a villain, having Guaizai sit on his shoulder, and patted the goose's head: "Even if you cry your throat hoarse, no one will come to save you."
Fourth Grandfather He: "..."
Fourth Grandfather He momentarily didn't know whether he should leave or say a few words of apology. Before he could decide, he saw Fang Zichen launch into a stern lecture directed at his goose.
Fourth Grandfather He watched as Fang Zichen scolded his old gander, threatening: "You immoral gander, attacking a child, you're simply insane, be careful or I'll castrate you."
It was threat after threat.
Guaizai, holding the puppy with both hands, nodded his head repeatedly in agreement.
"Yes, yes, bullying a little kid is wrong. See, you got caught, didn't you?"
"If you don't listen, my father will cut off your birdie."
"He'll cut off your birdie, and it will hurt!"
"With no birdie, you'll have to pee with your butt, showing your butt—so shameless!"
Fang Zichen scolded for a long time. The large gander seemed tireless, still stretching its neck and squawking at him, as if it wanted to peck him a few more times.
Fang Zichen put his hands on his hips: "I originally had a kind heart, thinking to spare your life. But since you remain obstinate and unrepentant, in that case, don't blame me for being ruthless."
He dug around in his pocket and pulled out four chili peppers. He crushed them with a stone, pried open the gander's beak, and fed them all to it.
Whether the chili truly affected the goose or not, the moment Fang Zichen released it, the bird let out a series of desperate, piercing cries, now several times louder than before.
Afraid its continued loud cries would attract Fourth Grandfather He, Fang Zichen hurriedly untied it.
As soon as the large gander landed on the ground, it shook its head incessantly, then plunged its head into the water.
Fang Zichen gathered his "tools of the crime" and was about to make his escape when Guaizai asked, "Father, are we going home?"
"En! We have to leave quickly! It was crying too loudly just now. If it draws Fourth Grandfather He here and he finds out I bullied his goosey, he'll probably be angry," Fang Zichen said.
Guaizai looked over towards Fourth Grandfather He and said, puzzled: "But Fourth Grandfather is right here ah."
Fang Zichen: "..." He felt he had momentarily forgotten how to write the very concept of 'embarrassment.'
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