Chapter 126
Li Yisheng was stunned by this news and simply could not believe it. Immediately, he could think of nothing else. Despite running a high fever and being ill, he dragged his sick body and rushed to Yuanzhou overnight. The city gates were closed, so he huddled outside. The winter night was cold, the north wind biting. Shivering against the city gate, his lips turned blue and purple.
The next day, as soon as it was slightly light, the city gates opened. After entering the city, he grabbed the first person he saw and asked how to get to the Xie residence. That person shook him off, saying, "Where did this beggar come from?"
Li Yisheng froze, not understanding at first. It wasn't until he reached the riverbank and saw his own reflection in the water—his hair disheveled, his eyes dark and sunken, his face haggard and gaunt—that he realized.
Having been bedridden ill and then spending a night outside, his appearance was truly wretched.
He thought about finding an inn to clean up and change his clothes before visiting the Xie residence, but when he turned his head, he saw Xie Xiaoyu and Li Yixing walking straight towards him. For no reason he could name, Li Yisheng instinctively hid himself. He watched as Xie Xiaoyu and Li Yixing, chatting and laughing amiably, stepped together through the doors of Xingpin Zhai.
A maidservant waiting outside peeked into the shop and said to her companion, "Our young master and the Second Young Master Li are truly a good match. Ah, ah, look, Second Young Master Li is feeding our young master a pastry..."
They were facing the main door of Xingpin Zhai. Li Yisheng saw the young man who was usually so boisterous and monkey-like in front of him now smiling at Li Yixing, appearing very shy and timid.
He had never seen Xie Xiaoyu show such an expression in front of him before.
Gers and girls only blush like that in front of their sweethearts.
He heard Li Yixing ask, "Yu Ger, you've known my elder brother for so many years. What do you think of him?"
Xie Xiaoyu, holding a piece of pastry—the pinkish-white pastry made his small hand appear even more smooth and jade-like, he replied, "Brother Sheng is very good! He's like a dear older brother to me. He dotes on me."
When Li Yisheng heard these words, it felt as if all the strength in his body was instantly drained away. His whole body ached. He swayed unsteadily, barely managing to stay upright by leaning against the wall.
The weather today matched his mood, overcast and gloomy, caught between light and dark.
At that moment, Li Yixing and Xie Xiaoyu were discussing something. Their voices weren't deliberately lowered, but a ringing filled Li Yisheng's ears, and he couldn't make out a single word.
The noise was chaotic and unbearable.
Li Yisheng almost immediately turned and left.
He no longer had the courage to go to the Xie residence, nor the courage to question Xie Xiaoyu. He knew he had probably misunderstood, had probably been presumptuous. His steps were unsteady, his demeanor utterly wretched.
Li Yisheng returned home in a complete daze, not even knowing how he got there.
After returning from Yuanzhou, his illness worsened. He recuperated for over half a month before he could barely rise from his bed.
During that time, Xie Xiaoyu came to see him twice. Li Yisheng found excuses not to see him.
In relationships between people, different feelings dictated different boundaries. Lovers could kiss each other, but friends...
His feelings had already crossed the line. He and Xie Xiaoyu probably couldn't even remain friends anymore.
He avoided Xie Xiaoyu, trying his best to restrain his feelings for him.
But eleven years of knowing each other, a love rooted deep in his bones and blood, was not something that could be easily forgotten just by saying so.
As long as Xie Xiaoyu continued to ask after him with concern and hovered around him every day, these feelings would not fade.
Only by creating distance, until his memories and fondness for him slowly faded, could this unspeakable affection be completely buried.
Later, when letters arrived from Xie Xiaoyu, Li Yisheng didn't even open the envelopes. He directly locked them away in his desk drawer and never replied to a single one.
Xie Xiaoyu, having waited in vain for a reply, initially assumed his letters had never arrived. He suspected the messenger might have lost them en route and, afraid of being reprimanded, had concealed the mishap. He promptly wrote three more letters and had them delivered to Huinan Town.
The letters were sent out, but it was like stones sinking into the sea.
Once or twice, Xie Xiaoyu could find excuses, but after many times, he understood.
He wondered, was Li Yisheng angry with him?
The other had fallen seriously ill after saving him, yet he had returned home before Li Yisheng had recovered, without even a word of thanks. Anyone would understandably feel displeased.
Thinking of this, Xie Xiaoyu couldn't sit still for a moment. After begging his parents for permission, he rushed to the Li family without delay, but Li Yisheng refused to see him.
Xie Xiaoyu apologized outside the room, but no matter what he said, Li Yisheng still refused to see him.
After that, Xie Xiaoyu still went to stay with the Li family for a period each year, as had been the custom since childhood. Li Yisheng's parents already treated him as one of their own and didn't see any issue with it.
However, when Xie Xiaoyu came, Li Yisheng would find excuses to leave the house.
Over the next few years, the number of times the two met could be counted on one's fingers.
Xie Xiaoyu was miserable and wanted to ask Li Yisheng why, but Li Yisheng avoided him like the plague. Every time they spoke, before two sentences were exchanged, Li Yisheng would find an excuse to leave.
Although Xie Xiaoyu was persistent and wanted a reason, he was, after all, a ger. Chasing after a man like this, if it happened too often, made him feel embarrassed himself.
____
Li Yisheng pulled himself out of his memories and patted Fang Zichen on the shoulder: "Brother, remember to come visit me when you have time in the future."
Yesterday, Li Yisheng had stuffed a small box into Fang Zichen's hands. Inside was a small gold longevity lock, said to be a gift for his son. There was nothing for Zhao Ger—as an unrelated man, giving a gift to a ger was ultimately inappropriate.
The trinket was golden yellow, rather rustic-looking, and carved with a vivid little rabbit.
Guaizai was born in the Year of the Rabbit, so presumably Li Yisheng had gone to a jewelry shop and had it custom-made.
Fang Zichen hefted it, it was very heavy and definitely not cheap. However, this item wasn't very suitable for his son to wear. His son's head was already big enough. Carrying that big head was already heavy work, if he wore this thing on top of it, he probably wouldn't be able to lift his head at all.
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