The passage of time was most keenly felt in the mountains. Successive blooms of white wild daisies covered the back hills, while the distant mountain foliage had turned yellow, with maple trees glowing like fire.
Shen Qingyue observed the panoramic autumn scenery from the mountain lookout pavilion. Though late autumn had not yet arrived, the mountains cooled quickly, already carrying the chill of the lowland autumn.
Since ancient times, autumn had evoked feelings of melancholy and solitude.
In previous years, he had never found autumn scenery lonely, but this year he actually tasted a bit of that lonely flavor.
He knew it was never the autumn scenery that was lonely, only that his state of mind was different.
As he left the lookout pavilion, he saw several oil-paper umbrellas floating past.
A light drizzle had begun to fall, no wonder the day felt particularly chilly.
Shen Qingyue quickened his pace, hoping to return before the rain intensified. A-Yu had gone down the mountain earlier, and he wondered if his companion had remembered to bring an umbrella.
Just as these thoughts occupied his mind, an umbrella suddenly appeared above his head.
He raised his eyes and saw the familiar person holding the umbrella beside him. He was momentarily surprised, his brow furrowing accordingly.
"Where's A-Yu? Why isn't he with you?"
"He went down the mountain."
"Oh."
Huo Anding saw the faint indifference in Shen Qingyue's eyes, both similar to and different from the other, gentler version of him.
Although he knew this was the real one, he still couldn't help feeling a bit disjointed. He said awkwardly, "Returning to the dormitory? I'll walk you over."
"Unnecessary."
Shen Qingyue refused coldly. Compared to his usual aloofness, this seemed more like it carried some personal emotion.
Having spoken, he quickened his pace and left on his own.
Huo Anding, looking at the thinly dressed figure, hurriedly chased after him with the umbrella: "The autumn rain is cold, be careful of catching a chill."
Shen Qingyue, seeing the umbrella once again shading him from above, stopped walking and turned to look directly at Huo Anding: "Weren't you avoiding me? What are you doing now?"
Huo Anding's heart leaped, a wave of guilt washing over him as his lie was laid bare.
He opened his mouth, wanting to explain, but thinking of all those messy dreams, it was truly hard to voice.
What decent person, upon discovering someone was a ger, would dream of their wedding night and even imagine them raising several children together?
The roots of his ears turned red. The words on the tip of his tongue ultimately didn't come out. Feeling like he wanted to escape, he shoved the umbrella handle into Shen Qingyue's hand.
Shen Qingyue watched the retreating back in the autumn rain, hurriedly fleeing as if evading some entanglement. A flicker passed through his gaze.
His hand gripping the umbrella handle tightened. When had he ever shown the slightest intention of wanting to entangle with him? Why had it come to this? Perhaps from the very beginning...
"Shen Qingyue, I didn't want to avoid you either!"
The autumn rain hitting his face felt distinctly cold.
Huo Anding suddenly turned around and strode back to stand in front of Shen Qingyue: "Ever since I found out you're a ger, I keep having constant dreams."
All those months of frustration and his decision to restrain himself from seeking him out suddenly crumbled when he saw that slender figure walking alone through the curtain of rain.
Shen Qingyue looked at the person's troubled, conflicted expression, his brow moving slightly.
He didn't know what kind of excuse this was supposed to be, so he blurted out: "What did you dream?"
Huo Anding gave a dry cough, his face involuntarily reddening.
He looked at Shen Qingyue, his expression guilty as he said: "Just... the kind that's somewhat inappropriate. You... you know what I mean, right?"
Shen Qingyue froze for a moment.
This person had always been thick-skinned. If even he found it shameful to speak of, one could probably guess what kind of dreams they were.
He pressed his lips together slightly: "They're just dreams."
"The saying goes, 'daytime thoughts become nighttime dreams.' Even though I don't know why I dream of things I don't think about during the day, I still feel guilty towards you."
Shen Qingyue asked: "So you avoided me?"
Huo Anding neither nodded nor shook his head.
"I thought if I interacted with you less, maybe I wouldn't have such dreams anymore."
"And after avoiding me, did you still have the dreams?"
Huo Anding gave another dry cough. He didn't answer Shen Qingyue, but the answer was obvious.
His face was flushed and burning, fortunately the autumn rain and wind kept it from being cooked thoroughly.
"There's no need to take it to heart."
Shen Qingyue said: "They are just illusions."
Huo Anding said: "I know."
"I could shamelessly pretend these dreams never happened and act as before."
"Just... if we continue interacting like this, what if I end up liking you?"
Both of them suddenly fell silent. The whooshing wind poured past them.
Shen Qingyue observed Huo Anding's shoulders, dampened by the fine rain, and his hair now frosted with droplets—precisely as he had appeared during their first encounter on the official road.
He asked: "Is liking me something shameful?"
"Of course not."
Huo Anding's reply was very definite.
"You are well-read, understanding of propriety, kind and virtuous, outstanding in appearance... There could be no greater honor than liking you."
"Then what are you afraid of?"
"Afraid your heart belongs to another. Afraid I would cause you trouble."
Huo Anding said: "I am a very ordinary person. Like everyone else, I wish to pass the imperial examinations with distinction, achieve success in my studies, and even more so... I desire your heart to mirror mine."
Shen Qingyue said: "That is the most ordinary desire."
Huo Anding asked again: "Then what do you think I should do?"
Shen Qingyue: "Wait until you actually like me, then we'll talk."
"If you are merely worrying over nothing and actually won't develop feelings, then there's no need for these concerns."
Huo Anding suddenly laughed: "If I had known you were so easy to talk to, I wouldn't have been so troubled all this time."
Having said that, he took the umbrella back, grabbed Shen Qingyue's wrist, and ran with him towards the buildings.
See how easy it was to talk??? Silly boy lol
ReplyDeleteThank you for the update!!!