Chapter 14: Affection
After the Duke of Anguo and his wife left, the Dowager Lady dismissed all the servants, keeping only An Momo by her side, before speaking to Yan Jingshu: "Alright, get up now. Don’t you worry about hurting your knees from kneeling so long? Young people never know how to take care of themselves, you’ll regret it when you’re old."
Though her words were caring, but her tone was still sharp. Fortunately, Yan Jingshu was long accustomed to the Dowager Lady’s temperament and didn’t take it to heart, obediently standing up upon hearing her words.
Looking at Yan Jingshu’s calm expression, the Dowager Lady couldn’t help but sigh inwardly. "Are you truly determined to marry that Jiang Chenghan?"
Without hesitation, Yan Jingshu nodded. "Your grandson’s mind is made up. I beg Grandmother’s approval."
When Yan Jingshu spoke of his past life yesterday, the Dowager Lady had already sensed this possibility. Thus, his words now didn’t surprise her much. Still, she wasn’t ready to agree just yet and tried to persuade him otherwise. "Shu’er, this is a lifelong matter. Even if you want to repay Jiang Chenghan or save his life, you don’t have to sacrifice your own future. We can find another way."
"I can speak to your father and have him transfer Jiang Chenghan from the frontier to the capital, under your father’s command. With our protection right before his eyes, not only will his future be bright, but no one will dare harm him again. Wouldn’t that be better?"
But Yan Jingshu shook his head. "Grandmother, you may not know this, but Jiang Chenghan is not an ambitious man who craves power, nor would he accept a promotion gained through favoritism. Moreover, his closest friends are all in Ningcheng, especially Uncle Kou. He recognized Jiang Chenghan’s talent and treated him like a son, nurturing him with great care. Jiang Chenghan, in turn, respects and admires him deeply, remaining utterly loyal. He would never abandon all this for personal gain."
"So, from what you say, this Jiang Chenghan is a righteous and loyal man." Though Yan Jingshu had rejected her suggestion, the Dowager Lady wasn’t angered. Instead, she even praised Jiang Chenghan.
Hearing this, Yan Jingshu couldn’t help but smile faintly, as if he himself had been praised. He hoped his grandmother would come to like Jiang Chenghan—only then would she feel at ease and agree to their marriage.
The Dowager Lady noticed this and sighed inwardly, feeling a pang of bitterness. Her beloved grandson, whom she had watched grow up, was now about to be taken by some stranger she had never even met. She finally understood what those farmers meant when they complained about wild boars ruining their carefully tended cabbages.
"Loyal and righteous he may be, but he’s still from the countryside. If you marry him, you’ll have to go far away to Ningcheng—a barren, harsh place. You’ve been pampered since childhood. Just the journey there would be grueling, and once there, you’d have no family around. If he ever mistreated you, there’d be no one to stand up for you." The Dowager Lady couldn’t resist adding this, though her displeasure made her tone sharp, almost as if she were scolding Yan Jingshu.
Yan Jingshu knew his grandmother wouldn’t yield easily. He had even prepared himself for reprimands, but he didn’t want Jiang Chenghan to be misunderstood or blamed because of it.
"Grandmother, I’m not afraid of hardship—truly. And please rest assured, Jiang Chenghan would never mistreat me. I can promise you that." Yan Jingshu spoke earnestly. "I don’t know how to explain it, but I hope you understand, Jiang Chenghan is a good man. In fact, aside from you, he’s the kindest person to me in this world. Back then, after I left the capital..."
When he had confessed his past life to the Dowager Lady the day before, Yan Jingshu had only detailed matters related to Xie Shi and Yan Jingyu, as well as Jiang Chenghan’s death and his own. He had skipped over the three years of married life with Jiang Chenghan.
Now, though embarrassed, for Jiang Chenghan’s sake and to persuade his grandmother, Yan Jingshu began recounting those years, sharing every memory that came to mind.
As he spoke, the dissatisfaction in the Dowager Lady’s eyes gradually faded, replaced by deep heartache and sorrow. She hadn’t realized that after leaving the capital, Yan Jingshu had endured so much hardship. No wonder he claimed not to fear suffering. And without Jiang Chenghan, who knew what wretched fate might have befallen him?
Though Jiang Chenghan’s protection of his spouse was expected after marriage, neither the Dowager Lady nor Yan Jingshu took it for granted. Jiang Chenghan had saved Yan Jingshu’s life more than once, and that was undeniable.
"...Just when I had let go of my grievances and decided to live well with him, he led his troops into battle... and when he returned, he was already..." Yan Jingshu couldn’t continue. He lifted his head, eyes red, and repeated, "...Your grandson’s mind is made up. I beg Grandmother’s approval."
The Dowager Lady remained silent for a long while before finally saying, "...Even if I agree, your father won’t."
Yan Jingshu lowered his gaze slightly. "...Grandmother need not worry. Father will agree."
Even if his father refused, his mother would persuade him otherwise. Yan Jingshu knew all too well how much his mother despised him. Now that he was handing her a chance to remove him from her sight completely, she wouldn’t let it slip away.
Hearing Yan Jingshu’s resolve, the Dowager Lady’s expression grew indescribably complex. She sighed deeply and said, "I understand. Go back now. Let me think this over."
"...Then your grandson will take his leave." Yan Jingshu pressed his lips together, said no more, and obediently rose to depart.
After he left, the Dowager Lady sighed again, then fell into a long silence.
An Momo, who had remained by her side, spoke up. "If the Dowager Lady truly can’t bear to part with the Second Young Master, perhaps you could persuade him further. He always listens to you."
But the Dowager Lady shook her head. "How could I say such a thing? Didn’t you hear? Shu’er claims he wants to save Jiang Chenghan’s life and repay him, but it’s clear he’s also genuinely in love. The gratitude is real, the desire to repay him is real, and his longing to reunite with Jiang Chenghan is also real. If I force him to refuse, I’d only make him suffer, leaving him with lifelong regrets."
The Dowager Lady saw Yan Jingshu’s feelings clearly, but An Momo still felt regretful. "The Second Young Master has always excelled in his studies. The academy’s teachers say he could place high in the imperial exams one day. It’s such a pity if he just marries and gives it all up."
"...Life is about choices and trade-offs. If he chooses this and finds it worthwhile, then so be it. High honors, noble titles—if they’re not what he truly wants, what meaning do they hold?" The Dowager Lady said this as much for An Momo as for herself.
"Life is but a few short decades. If one cannot live as one wishes, what’s the point of living at all?" Sighing, she finally relented. "Very well. That child has his own destiny. Let him have his way..."
An Momo nodded in agreement. Indeed, he was extraordinary—to die and return to relive two lifetimes was no ordinary fate.
Meanwhile, in the Canglan Courtyard, the Duke of Anguo was both anxious and furious. He hadn’t expected the usually mild-mannered Yan Jingshu to suddenly act so impulsively, gambling with his own future out of anger. But since he had promised Yan Jingshu he would punish Yan Jingyu and failed to do so, he couldn’t bring himself to scold Yan Jingshu either. He could only pace the room in frustration.
Xie Shi sat quietly nearby, equally surprised by Yan Jingshu’s actions—though it suited her perfectly. Due to certain reasons, she had always disliked this second son. When she learned her daughter had harmed him, she hadn’t felt the slightest anger.
But when her daughter was exposed while Yan Jingshu remained unharmed, she grew furious. And yesterday, after the Duke of Anguo’s words, she suddenly realized—he seemed to be considering Yan Jingshu as his heir. That was even more unacceptable than his punishment of Yan Jingyu.
The ducal title should have gone to her eldest son, but he had passed too soon. Even so, she still had her grandson. The title must go to him—she wouldn’t let anyone take it, especially not Yan Jingshu.
Even if it meant angering the Duke of Anguo, even if it meant implicating Yan Jingyu, Xie Shi was determined to drive Yan Jingshu out of the estate, ensuring he could never inherit the title—no matter the cost.
Just as the Duke of Anguo paced like a caged beast, unsure what to do, the Dowager Lady sent someone to summon him.
Xie Shi wanted to go as well, but the messenger stopped her, saying the Dowager Lady had requested only the Duke.
Xie Shi’s expression darkened, but the Duke, preoccupied with Yan Jingshu’s matter, didn’t notice her discomfort and left immediately.
Once he was gone, Xie Shi calmly sat back down. After a moment of contemplation, she formed a plan.
She sent a maid to summon her trusted servant, Aunt Liu. When Aunt Liu arrived, Xie Shi dismissed the other servants and led her into the inner chamber for a private discussion.
"Mother, what did Shu’er say?" The moment he arrived at Rong’an Courtyard, the Duke of Anguo couldn’t wait to ask.
The Dowager Lady sighed and shook her head. "This time, even I can’t do anything. That child... he’s been hurt too deeply..."
The Duke had hoped Yan Jingshu, who had always been filial and obedient to the Dowager Lady, would listen to her persuasion. Hearing her words now, his heart sank like a stone.
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