Chapter 8 I really want to die
In the next few days, while other children would go out to herd cows, Yang Jiabo said that he would stay in the house. The adults didn't have time to stare at him, so he searched for medicinal plants all over the mountains and fields alone. Everyone thought he had a bad temper and didn't get along with other children.
Grandma was very worried when she saw this, but she was just a rural woman who didn't understand major principle and wasn't good at speaking, so she could only ask Li Wen to take Yang Jiabo out to play. However, how could a real child like Li Wen be Yang Jiabo's opponent? On the contrary he was forced to help dry the medicinal plants. Although Yang Jiabo couldn't find the fleeceflower root, he still had a good harvest.
Soon a week passed, Li Guizhen and all her brothers and sisters came. They came to help with farm work and pick up the children. As soon as they arrived, the children, who hadn't seen their parents for a long time, happily came forward and chatted about interesting things in the mountains and what they had done this week.
When Yang Jiabo saw Li Guizhen, he wanted to behave like other children, but he felt jittery for no reason. While he was hesitating, Zhou Lingling had already approached Li Guizhen and started to complain.
"Third aunt, Jiajia is too lazy. He always did nothing. He is so squeamish and bad-tempered like a young master, he also doesn't want to play with us. I just said a few words to him and he hit me..." Zhou Lingling exaggerated and said a lot of things. In her words, Yang Jiabo was lazy, greedy, disobedient, liked to bully others, and had a lot of shortcomings.
The more Li Guizhen listened, the darker her face became. When she saw Yang Jiabo standing in the corner, she yelled: "Little bastard, come here."
Yang Jiabo looked at her blankly, he knew what she was going to do without even thinking. It was like this every time, every time she never listened to his explanation, and never gave him a chance to explain. Why did she believe to what others say easily?
Seeing that he ignored her words, Li Guizhen became even more furious. She strode forward and slapped him without saying a word. Li Guizhen was a person who was used to doing farm work, so her hands were quite strong, and she didn't know how to control her strength.
Yang Jiabo's eyes blurred and he fell heavily to the ground, his ears buzzing. There was a burning pain on his face and body. He blinked, raised his head and looked at Li Guizhen who was still cursing. His big watery eyes showed a desolation that was inconsistent with his age.
"Are you really my mother?" Sometimes he thought, how nice would it be if Li Guizhen was not his mother.
"If I'm not your mother, who is your mother?" Li Guizhen grabbed Yang Jiabo's arm and pulled him up, heavy slaps kept falling on him. "Little bastard, I just hit you twice, and you don't want to acknowledge your mother anymore?"
Yang Jiabo didn't cry, but looked at the people around him with his big eyes.
"Third sister, if you have anything to say, just say it nicely. The child is still young. "
The fifth aunt couldn't stand it anymore and gave her a few words of advice. Before Li Guizhen said anything, the eldest uncle spoke first. "This child is too lazy and disobedient, so he has to be beaten. Leave him alone, fifth sister."
The children who were older than Yang Jiabo were hesitant to speak and dared not come forward even if they wanted to. The younger ones were hiding behind their parents, looking scared. Most adults thought that educating children was heaven's law and earth's principle, it wasn't a big deal.
[天经地义 tiān jīng dì yì: lit. heaven's law and earth's principle (idiom); fig. right and proper; right and unalterable; a matter of course]
It was also like this in the previous life. When others made mistakes, he would always be the one who got beaten. His cousins robbed him of food, but he couldn't make a fuss, otherwise he would be beaten. When others scolded him, he couldn't make a fuss or he would be beaten. He must listen to his mother's words no matter whether they were right or wrong, if he didn't listen, then he would be beaten. If he saw his relatives in the street and didn't greet them, he would still be beaten.
No matter how absurd the reason was, as long as someone complained to his mother, he would be the one who got beaten. In the eyes of these people, he is a useless person, a lazybones, a psycho, a pervert, a lunatic...
No one saw that he worked three or four jobs to pay off his debts, from dawn till late at night, and no one knew that he was overworked and had a fever for many days. As if the only way to make them stand out was stepping on him.
Yang Jiabo shed tears and asked with a smile: "Mom, in your eyes, is everything my fault?"
"You still don't admit that you have made a mistake, you're a bastard, lazy..."
He had asked the same question in his previous life, and the answer was the same. Yang Jiabo didn't know what other people's mothers were like, but he had heard these dirty words since he was a child.
Sure enough, it will be better if I die. What will I do if I'm alive? How wonderful it will be if I die.
"Third child, what are you doing? Let go of Jiajia." Grandma came in with ragweeds on her back and saw a fight going on in the house. She threw down her bamboo basket, pulled Li Guizhen away, and protected Yang Jiabo behind her.
"Mom, please leave it alone, this child is so disobedient." Li Guizhen said, and then gave Yang Jiabo a hard look.
Yang Jiabo's big and lively eyes were now numb, his fair and tender cheeks were red swollen, and he murmured to himself in a low voice. "How good it be to die, sure enough I shouldn't live. I might as well die."
Everyone's attention was focused on grandma and Li Guizhen, and they didn't notice Yang Jiabo's abnormality.
"Jiajia, what are you doing?" Li Wen, who had always paid attention to Yang Jiabo, first noticed something was wrong. Everyone looked at Yang Jiabo and saw that the little child was holding a sickle and about to cut his wrist. They were frightened immediately.
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